The Inquisitr » 2012 movie

2012 Movie Review: CGI Porn For The Masses

Duncan Riley — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 09:37:19 +0000

Roland Emmerich returns to the big screen with a sequel of sorts to his hit blockbusters Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow. Some reviews will mention Godzilla, but given how few people saw that movie, it shouldn’t be considered because 2012 is the really the end of the trilogy that started with Independence Day.

My expectations going into the movie were mixed: on one hand, reviews said it is what it is, and it does it well, while others said it’s somewhere close to Transformers 2, but without the soft porn provided by Megan Fox.

I’m happy to report that it was the former. Unlike Transformers 2, 2012 shamelessly suffers its lack of serious plot and acting by overwhelming the senses with CGI porn; Transformers 2 looks like something my son plays in his bedroom by comparison.

John Cussack takes the role as the lead in the trilogy in the footsteps of Bill Pullman and Dennis Quaid before him, but brings a decidedly Gen X take to the role. Here’s a character in his mid to late 30s, divorced with a hot ex wife and some kids who struggles to keep up with his now ex-family.

Fortunately…or unfortunately I just described most of the 30 minutes of the movie, well throw in Woody Harelson as a grade A nutter and some global conspiracy theories for good measure. No, Ron Paul didn’t direct, but he would have been proud.

All you need to know about the first 30 minutes is the world is going to end, then the CGI porn flows from about that point, and by god it is the CGI equivalent on Heidi Klum taking it in a twosome…but even hotter.

If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll get some of the rough idea. As a visual treat 2012 is the world ender when it comes to a disaster movie, because no other movie will ever be able to beat the CGI and story concept again: how after all can you beat the end of the world?

If I had to criticize, it’s that Emmerich softly decided only to destroy American and Christian icons, as opposed to being truly global (and unbias) in his vision of the end of the world; apparently he was worried about a jihad or something, which says soft to me.

If you love your CGI, you’ll love 2012. If you want to see a movie with a serious story line, stay well away.

3 1/2 stars.

2012 Movie Trailer

Duncan Riley — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 15:00:42 +0000

When a movie comes with the words “from the producer of Independence Day and the Day After Tomorrow” you just know that we’re going to see an epic disaster flick, and 2012 doesn’t disappoint.

Starring John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Danny Glover, Thandie Newton, Oliver Platt, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Woody Harrelson, 2012 has as its premise:

“Never before has a date in history been so significant to so many cultures, so many religions, scientists, and governments. The human race is impacted by a global cataclysm, which lead to the end to the world and has survivors struggling for their lives.”

As much as the premise is obviously bollocks (hardly surprising), the trailer looks…well….epic. The aircraft carrier being washed over the White House at the end is a very nice touch as well.

2012 is due out November 13, 2009. Here’s the 2012 movie trailer:

Institute For Human Continuity: the end of the world imagined by Sony

Duncan Riley — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:46:57 +0000

2012 the movie may have been delayed from release until November, but that hasn’t stopped Sony’s online viral marketing efforts.

The latest is the Institute For Human Continuity, a site pretending to be dedicated to human survival after the world is plunged into disaster in 2012.

According to the site, the IHC has determined there is a 94% chance that the world will face disaster in 2012, and demonstrates various scenarios including death by sun spot, Planet X and something called “crustal displacement.”

It’s a slick site, and if you didn’t know it was a ploy for the movie, you might actually believe it was real, and in some ways that’s what’s wrong with it. This site plays into the hands of the real kooks who do believe the end is nigh, and it doesn’t really make anyone that more interested in the movie.

You can visit the Institute For Human Continuity here.

2012 Movie teaser trailer

Duncan Riley — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 07:27:33 +0000

The first teaser trailer for spoof disaster film 2012 has been released.

If you’re not aware of the significance of the date, 2012 is the end of the Mayan calander, and is predicted by lots of kooks to be the end of the world, and you can throw in some suggestions that in 2012 “Planet X” will slam into the earth as well. As you can imagine, taking the piss on the year is right up my alley.

2012 the Movie is due out July 2009. If you’re reading this in the feed, you’ll need to visit the site to review the trailer.