Yup, Real Advice Headline: ‘I Fantasise About Group Sex With Old, Obese Men’

As the week comes to a close and we round up grist to have an opinion about so we can meet our quotas here at The Inquisitr, one interesting headline has, by virtue of pure fortune and serendipity, found its way to my desktop this Friday:

“I fantasise about group sex with old, obese men.”

Now, I’m not one to begrudge anyone their kinky deepest darkest, but no matter how liberal and “enlightened” one may be, that headline is a double, triple-taker. It’s the title of an otherwise-throwaway entry at The Guardian’s “Sexual Healing” advice column, where Pamela Stephenson Connolly has the onerous task of playing Dear Prudie to the sexually confused and shameful.

Dear Prudie, by the way, is another subject of interest to Inquisitr writers.

Anyway, let’s get right into content and analysis. Here’s the prompt:

I’m a slim, 31-year-old woman attracted to older, obese men – the uglier the better. I fantasise about being passed around by several of them. The thing that really turns me on is the idea of having to lift their stomachs and search for their penises, which are always difficult to find and a bit on the soft side. I haven’t mentioned this to my fiance, because I think he would be horrified. Our sex life is fine, but I use the fantasy to help me climax. I feel guilty – what made me so sick?

Now, I’ll start out by saying that I don’t begrudge this anonymous woman her interest in sweaty, confuddled chub. Sure, it’s a weird kink, but we all have ’em, right? What seems strange to me about this entry is that she leads with “I’m slim,” as if to drive some kind of shock value. If she had said she was a “chubby, 31-year-old woman” would that have made a difference?

Anyway, on to Connolly’s composed answer:

Your erotic imaginings are private; you don’t have to share them. Fantasies develop in different ways. Some are generated from real events or images, while others are creative imaginings that arise through need, longing or even trauma. Consider searching for the root. One aspect of your fantasy that might be relevant is the fact the imagined men are not really ready for sex. Somehow, you’ve developed an turn-on that keeps you safe, where despite being “passed around”, you still retain control. Perhaps the men’s perceived unattractiveness also helps you feel safe and releases you from the anxiety of being physically judged yourself. So your fantasy is not the product of a “sick” mind, but may be a clever creative exercise designed to help assuage sexual fear and a negative body image.

Take that, Prudie! This is definitely what I’d call proper sex advice. No judgments, no blaming, just a practical explanation for a weird kink. Boy, this article really got away from me.

You can read the original “Sexual Healing” post here, which is mostly otherwise notable for the civil war being waged in the comments.

[Image: Shutterstock]