Usually celebs get heaps of cash for selling all their private wedding pics, but there’s something amiss about this whole hoopla surrounding Mariah’s marriage to Nick Cannon. Yes, we get it. It was a surprise. But what was the deal with Oprah today? She basically had a mini meltdown on her show about Mariah’s “secrets” and her “Mrs. Cannon” tattoo, complete with intense finger shaking and the skinny from Gail via satellite.

Okay, Oprah, the earth still turns. Mariah’s married, okay? (Although for how long is another question entirely.) Plus we can’t forget about the slideshow of all the “Exclusive” photos splashed across People (available Friday, everyone!). Ew.

The good news is that Vibe mag is probably raking in runoff sales right now, even if they did scoop the wrong story.