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Kate Middleton Bump Provokes Post-Baby Weight Loss Tips From Magazine, Hilarity Ensues

Kate Middleton is breastfeeding. Prince George

COMMENTARY — So Kate Middleton’s bump post-baby is sparking some outrage. Twitter got all fired up that OK! Magazine published a suggested post-pregnancy weight-loss regime for the Duchess of Cambridge before the woman was two steps out of the hospital.

As you can see from the first look royal baby and family photo above, Kate Middleton doesn’t appear to have received a post-baby tummy tuck. As a result, she still looks hugely pregnant even though the baby is in her arms and not in her womb.

So the Kate Middleton bump is a fairly shocking sight to those of us used to looking at celebrity mothers who now routinely get the tummy tuck in the aftermath of giving birth. If you’re an actress or someone else in the public eye whose payday appears on your appearance, it’s pretty much a necessity.

I’m always amazed at the credulous folks who think celebrities look that way because of diet and exercise. Why would diet and exercise work just because you’re famous when it doesn’t work for real people you can see down on the ground?

Be that as it may, the credulous will always be with us. There’s a huge market in selling diets and exercises that claim to do what surgery and medical technology really can do.

And people buy into it. A lot.

So here comes OK! Magazine to sell what idiots want to buy — only to step into a mess that they apparently didn’t expect.

Kate Middleton Bump Fracas On Twitter

But Is It All OK! Magazine’s Fault We See Kate Middleton’s Bump?

I’ll admit it. In the first two seconds I saw Kate Middleton and her bump emerge with the baby, I thought, “Who does she think she is, Barbara Bush?” And I didn’t mean the younger one.

Kate Middleton clearly thinks she doesn’t have to care about her appearance since she has just given birth to the future king of England. That’s fairly understandable. I might well feel the same.

But some folks go further and want to pretend the Middleton post-baby bump represents something I-dunno-what-really.

Take this statement from Netmums founder SIobhan Freegard. Saying she admired Kate Middleton for proving mothers shouldn’t have to look perfect after giving birth, she added:

“In a couple of minutes on the steps of the Lindo Wing Kate has done more for new mums’ self esteem than any other role model.

“Sadly, too many celebrities often have ultra fast tummy tucks or strap themselves down to emerge in tiny size six jeans, leaving everyone else feeling inadequate. Kate shows what a real mum looks like – and natural is beautiful.”

But natural isn’t beautiful. That’s why women whose income depends on their looks do get tummy tucks and Spanx. The Duchess of Cambridge doesn’t have to worry about all that. Freegard’s statement just sort of insults our intelligence, doesn’t it?

So here are my somewhat unsorted thoughts on the Kate Middleton bump.

There’s nothing admirable about selling bogus diets and exercises that don’t work to remove the changes to a woman’s belly that come with pregnancy. OK! Magazine was wrong.

But every other magazine that publishes the same message every other day of the year is just as wrong.

Kate Middleton’s bump won’t disappear from following some tips in any magazine. She’ll either eventually have surgery done, or she’ll have some belly there forever. The end.

She isn’t an inspiration or role model either way. It’s just more royal butt-kissing to pretend that she is. And I as an American won’t kiss some royal’s butt. Not gonna happen.

If I’m wrong, then feel free to yell at me in the comments. I listen to all sides. What are your thoughts on the Kate Middleton bump brouhaha?

[Kate Middleton first look royal baby photo courtesy Duke and Duchess of Cambridge website]

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