When we first heard about the Candwich, the idea seemed inevitably unpalatable but undeniably awesome.
Who wouldn’t buy just one to experience the joy of simply popping a tab to experience a sandwich in all its wichy-goodness? Peanut butter and jelly requires effort, like finding a knife, washing dishes and removing crusts if you’re so inclined. PB&J in a can would make getting high so much easier. But alas, Consumerist has unearthed footage of the Candwich being engineered and canned, and the information is grim. Candwiches require assembly.
If you, like me, imagined a Candwich emerging fully edible and pre-sandwiched from their cans, prepare to be disappointed. The video below unboxes a Candwich, and the PB&J variety includes a bagged roll- for which you have to open an additional thing– and packets of peanut butter and jelly. Packets! Who eats peanut butter from a packet? I may consider eating a sandwich in a can, but peanut butter in a packet is where I draw the line. Do I have to barbeque the chicken for the BBQ Chicken variety? Jeeezus.