But a new rulebook throws out the old rule book, advocating absolute chaos by kind of suggesting you just make it all up as you go along. But before the book’s authors can tell you to treat every romance on a case-by-case basis and just use your best judgment, they have to debunk a pretty long list of hard-set dating myths and assumptions.
According to Andrea Syrtash and Jeff Wilser, authors of the new dating anti-rule book It’s Okay To Sleep with Him on the First Date: And Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked, the current selection of dating advice books are from “another era.”
“We don’t need graphs and matrices to figure out how to date,” Wilser crows. “People use these rules as a crutch.”
“You need to take risks in love,” Syrtash adds. “Some of the best stories I’ve heard about people who find love feature those who broke dating rules.”
Among those dating myths, don’t sext. Don’t do it. That’s something reserved for someone you trust, and presumably have already slept with. Also, always sext when sober and avoid 12-year-old expressions like “Hot4u.”
Another, don’t date co-workers. We’ve long assumed that they’re “off limits,” but as long as you use discretion and are careful about whether it’s a fun fling or a serious relationship, there’s no reason why you can’t make connections at your nine-to-five.
Nice guys finish last? Not always true. As Syrtash explains, “I’ve rarely heard anyone say, ‘I don’t like the person I’m dating because he’s thoughtful,’ or, ‘I don’t like her because she listens to what other people have to say and is caring.’ ”
And the age-old question: To sleep with him/her on the first date, or not? Wilser says that women giving it up right away doesn’t make men think that she’s easy, or assume it’s a one-time thing.
“We don’t think, ‘This one’s girlfriend material because she waited a month, and that one’s booty-call material because she came back to my place,’ ” Wilser writes. “There mere act of waiting does not magically create chemistry. Waiting does not make us say, ‘Now, that’s the kind of woman I could marry!’ ”
Do you subscribe to any of the above dating myths? Could it be time to take a chance and break a few rules?
[Image via: S_L / Shutterstock]