Shocker: LIRR service suspended, no one can go home

Unless you’re on the Port Washington line, your commute home is probably going to be a fail sandwich.

Ha, ha, who are we kidding? Even Port Washington line people are facing an epic evening commute scene at Penn Station because the world’s least reliable, super expensive commuter train line has once again imploded in a stunning array of fail. As a former LIRR victim/daily user, I say, “better you than me, mate.”

According the the NYDN, pretty much no one knows how the 130,000 poor schmucks who rely on the Long Island Failroad are going to get home today thanks to some bullshit signal fire near Jamaica:

Railroad officials are now scrambling to come up with a plan for the evening rush when about 100,000 daily LIRR riders will attempt to get home after work…

Trains were halted at the nearest station shortly before 11 a.m., according to LIRR spokesman, who said there were no injuries reported as a result of the fire.

The damaged tower is located east of the Jamaica train hub where 10 branches converge before heading to Penn Station.

Currently, ten of the eleven LIRR lines aren’t running, and there is no word on when they will be service ready. The MTA is graciously honoring LIRR fares throughout the boroughs, but that’s not much help if you live in Babylon or Huntington, is it? A spokesman for a riders’ advocacy group spoke to the NYT, predicting that Jamaica will be a total zoo tonight and the station’s infrastructure is insufficient to handle the likely massive, angry crowds:

“Jamaica is not really designed as a station for people to come in from the outside,” (William) Henderson said. “It’s designed as a station for people to walk across the platform and transfer to another train. It doesn’t have the capacity to handle a big crowd coming in from the subway.”

The article adds that service is “not expected to be fully restored” this evening.