Now that the release date for the film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey has been confirmed, the rumor mill is heating up once again with gossip, speculation, false reports and ambiguous tweets, winging their hands nervously trying to figure out who the heck is going to play Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.
Current Fifty Shades movie cast favorites are Robert Pattinson and Alexis Bledel, though a handful of other names have been bandied about here and there, as well.
Sleeper frontrunners (that is, names that pop up over and over) for the role of Christian Grey have included Matt Bomer, Ryan Gosling, and heck, even Pattinson’s name has come up before. The biggest female names attached to Anastasia Steele have included Mila Kunis and Jennifer Lawrence.
Literally every single good-looking and/or talented actor and actress you can think of has been thrown out as a candidate at one time or another, and in a media world dense with gossip and half-truths, it can be hard to separate good Fifty Shades movie cast information from bad.
Let me be clear: No one has any idea who is going to be in Fifty Shades of Grey yet. The ink on the screenplay is barely dry, a release date has only just been announced, and no one who matters has said anything that counts about the cast. It’s all speculation.
We can get a rough idea of who could be in the film by crossing off everyone who won’t be in the film. Several big-name actors and actresses have expressed their ambivalence about the Fifty Shades of Grey film, and a couple have said plainly that they won’t even read the script.
I’ll leave you my recommendation as to which two actors should fill these steamy roles below, but first, let’s take a walk through five actors you won’t be seeing in Fifty Shades of Grey.
1. Emma Watson
Harry Potter alum Emma Watson was considered a front-runner for the role of Anastasia Steele for months before she ignominiously announced on Twitter that she wouldn’t touch Fifty Shades with a ten-foot pole.
Who here actually thinks I would do 50 Shades of Grey as a movie? Like really. For real. In real life.
— Emma Watson (@EmWatson) March 17, 2013
As far back as last August, Watson had admitted to being “baffled” that her name was even associated with the role. Moving on, then.
2. Henry Cavill
It’s probably going to take quite a bit of convincing to get this Superman to trade his tights in for tailored gray suits, folks. While he’s not exactly a “no,” he has said recently that no one has approached him about it and furthermore, the material kind of makes him uncomfortable.
“Not exactly chaste writing, is it?” he said after perusing the first few chapters.
“I’ve always preferred the implied sex scene anyway, because having it spelled out always seems a bit tacky. Sex is so readily available to us in every form of media now, so it’s no longer that exciting on screen.”
Sounds like he’s not interested.
3. Armie Hammer
While not the most popular Christian Grey of the bunch, there are several “factions” of Fifty Shades fans who are dying to see Hammer in the film. Prepare for disappointment.
The 26-year-old actor was actually the most harsh out of anyone we could find regarding the rumor that he was up for the role.
“No one actually offered me the movie, but while I was working on Lone Ranger my agent brought it up, and I said ‘Nope.’ I mean, come on it’s just mommy porn. I’m not going to sit on top of the laundry machine in spin cycle reading about putting a ball gag in someone’s mouth. That doesn’t do it for me.”
4. Ian Somerhalder
The 34-year-old Vampire Diaries star is yet another “sleeper” contender for the role, as his name continues to pop up. Aside from Pattinson, Somerhalder is also considered a front-runner with Bledel as Steele.
Somerhalder isn’t exactly a firm “no” either, as he did admit that he’d be interested in an interview with Ryan Seacrest, calling it a “phenomenal opportunity.”
In light of the overwhelmingly and incomprehensible happiness of a combined force of Vampire Diaries fans and Fifty Shades fans, Somerhalder took to Twitter to kick everyone down a peg.
OK ,this ChristianGrey thing has gotten out of control.Know this,Im not”desperate”to do anything except relax today.Be positive
— ian somerhalder (@iansomerhalder) June 19, 2012
Somerhalder is the most “maybe” on our list, but something tells me the ship has sailed for him.
5. Jonah Hill
We had to throw in at least one curve ball.
Though Hill is better suited for a spoof of Fifty Shades of Grey than the real thing, he took the opportunity to poke fun at all of the casting madness at the MTV Movie Awards this year.
“Emma Watson is such a beautiful, lovely, talented, hard-working person. I’m very appreciative to be in her life. That’s why I want to take this opportunity to announce officially that we will be starring in the screen adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey. Emma, it’s going to be very difficult to go back to being casual, after we start to go so deep into these characters and start exploring each other in such a detailed way. Whew. It’s gonna get rough out there. But I need you to know one thing: My safety word is tangerine.”
Who do you think should play the lead roles in the Fifty Shades movie cast? Oh yeah, my pick? Vincent Kartheiser and Alison Brie. As a hardcore Man Men fan, I need to see those two have some angry sex.
[Top image via: Source]