Subway cheese tessellation may not be going smoothly in all stores

You have the internet to thank for the long-awaited correction to sandwich shop Subway’s irrational placement of cheese on their subs.

After a years-long campaign to convince the fast food chain to re-think their cheese alignment strategy, Subway finally gave in and began rolling out cheese tessellation to all locations starting this summer. Math geeks and people who can’t cook but love geometry were thrilled, but a recent letter to Consumerist reveals that our long national nightmare of untessellated cheese may not yet have concluded.

Subversive alleged Subway “sandwich artist” Chris writes in to gleefully inform Consumerist readers of his sub-sabotage:

I’ve been working at subway for about a year and a half, and it always amuses me when people complain about not tessellating cheese [ed. see “This Is Not A Test” – Subway Says It Definitely Will Start Tessellating Cheese July 1?]. Now, merely to amuse myself, not only do I not tessellate the cheese, but I also leave gaps in the cheese placement so that an indeterminate amount of your bites will be cheeseless.
Also, I put a really small amount of dressing on your sandwich whenever you ask for it. Then when you ask for more, I squirt out a large quantity before you can say stop so that your sandwich has far too much dressing.

Then, when I cut the sandwich in half, I only cut it 3/4ths of the way through so that you have to messily tear the rest of the sandwich yourself.

Cheers!

– Chris

Anecdotal reports have been spotted on the internet of untessellated cheese, but this is the first account of deliberate dressing sabotage that has been collected. Has your Subway been consistently tessellating your cheese? Have you encountered a Chris-like Subway employee in your travels?