Man Allegedly Stabbed Brother Over Missing Mac And Cheese

Deltona, FL – “He touched me!” Followed with lingering mocks of “I’m not touching you.” … “He’s on my side of the room!” … “He stole my mac and cheese!”

Some sibling rivalries, regardless of how silly or ridiculous, don’t lessen with age and can escalate to criminal charges when adult brothers clash.

Randy Zipperer, 49 – more than old enough to know better – has been charged with aggravated battery and obstructing an officer without violence after allegedly stabbing his younger brother, 47-year-old Edward Zipperer. What spurred Randy to go full-on Cain on Abel? Missing macaroni and cheese. Seriously, an epic knife battle ensued over a missing box of mac and cheese that, on average, costs less than $1.

Witnesses told authorities that the two men began arguing over missing mac and cheese. Edward joined in the hunt for the missing food, during which he knocked over Randy’s recently opened beer. The spill was just too much for Randy to bear, intensifying an already ludicrous dispute.

No good deed goes unpunished – as Edward had been helping his brother search for the elusive mac and cheese when he tipped over the open beer. Randy threatened Edward with a knife and eventually plunged it into his brother’s stomach.

Volusia County deputies arrived and detained Randy after he admitted to unintentionally poking his brother a little with the knife. Edward was treated for a small puncture wound to the abdomen. Blood was found trailing between the kitchen and bedroom.

Randy will likely spend enough time in custody where he’ll get a jailhouse meal – perhaps a bologna sandwich on enriched white bread and a bowl of macaroni and cheese, sans the beer. Between the legal fees and Edward’s medical bills, I’m sure Randy will eventually realize the ridiculousness and expense of the ordeal.

The takeaway: Perhaps siblings should not cohabitate once they hit adulthood. That and stock up on extra mac and cheese.

[Image via Shutterstock]