Ah, Kanye West. To some people, like New York Times reporter Jon Caramanica, the 36-year-old rapper is a tortured artist who has something to say both musically and politically.
John Lennon might have been bigger than Jesus, but he wasn’t bigger than Yeezus, who will be dropping the heavily promoted album of the same name on June 18. According to a report Thursday, Yeezus will likely sell 500,000 copies in its first week.
Wow. That’s a nice chunk of cheese, even if you don’t happen to believe that Kanye West might be a cheating rat.
But the musically illiterate among us love Kanye West not for his sounds but for his outrageous quotes. The man isn’t shy to compare himself to everybody from Michael Jordan to God to Steve Jobs himself.
For those of us who just don’t know when to take anything seriously, I’ve pulled my favorite top ten lines from Caramanica’s interview with Kanye West to present them here completely out of context. For the real deal interview complete with Caramanica’s gushing commentary on West’s no-doubt-highly-significant art, you must visit the NYT.
I’m here for the cheap laugh.
Ten Big Hairy Kanye West Boasts From the NYT Interview
*Anytime I’ve had a big thing that’s ever pierced and cut across the Internet, it was a fight for justice.
*I am so credible and so influential and so relevant that I will change things.
*[My instinct has] only led me to complete awesomeness at all times.
*I’m like, the anti-celebrity, and my music comes from a place of being anti.
*Great art comes from great artists. There’s a bunch of people that are hurt that still couldn’t have made the album that was super-polarizing and redefined the sound of radio.
*Maybe 90 percent of the time it looks like I’m not having a good time.
*I’m still, like, slightly a snob, but I completely removed my snob heaven songs; I just removed them altogether.
*I’ve had meetings where a guy actually told me, ‘What we’re trying to figure out is how we can control you.’ In the meeting, to me! Why do you want to control me?
*I think what Kanye West is going to mean is something similar to what Steve Jobs means. I am undoubtedly, you know, Steve of Internet, downtown, fashion, culture. Period.
*I will be the leader of a company that ends up being worth billions of dollars, because I got the answers.
More Comedy Gold Inspired By Kanye West
But who cares what I think is funny? I’m probably just a heathen who’s going to hell because I’m unsaved by the blood of Yeezus.
The truth is that Ye is a real inspiration to some folks. For instance, check out this amazing video from Jimmy Kimmel Live called, “Josh Groban sings Kanye West Tweets.”
And of course Twitter has to weigh in with a few cheap shots of their own:
Kanye West says he's the Michael Jordan of music. If he's talking about the time when Michael Jordan was playing baseball, I totally agree.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) June 12, 2013
Craziest article I ever read. Who knew one person could love himself so much… Behind Kanye’s Mask http://t.co/6s8emUAOC6
— Lea Armstrong (@LeaArmstrong) June 14, 2013
Kanye West is a douche, but a hot douche, with a hot voice.
— Sophie. (@SophieNash18) June 14, 2013
Celebrity you most want to punch in the face? — Kanye West http://t.co/gAiJR22coW
— Todd (@ToddS1313) June 14, 2013
I was going to round up Ye’s most arrogant quotes from over the years but you know what? There are just too many.
Sometimes he’s offering us his political insight: “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.”
Sometimes he just wants to shoot down an equally annoying singer: “Yo, Taylor, I’m happy for you and Imma gonna let you finish but…”
And sometimes it isn’t even funny, because Kanye West is probably right. George Bush and Taylor Swift don’t win any personality prizes in my book either.
So it’s over to you guys. Feel free to leave your favorite funny or outrageous Kanye West quote in the comments.