Do ill-fitted bras cause health problems? If you mismeasure the width of your back and the size of your cup, are you setting yourself up for a whole host of health issues? To get your bra fitted right, do you truly require the services of a doctorate-level expert in hooter restraint?
Yes, it’s another morning and another scare story about the evils of a bra that hasn’t been properly fitted by a highly paid professional. Now, I’ve got nothing against my local bra genie — she actually calls herself that — and everybody raves about her services.
But c’mon. I’m finding it difficult to believe that I’m taking my health in my hands if I dare to fit my bra for myself.
Today’s ill-fitting bra health scare story comes courtesy of The Daily Mail. They report on a claim from 62-year-old Shirley Brailey, who told them:
“For years. I have suffered from a range of complaints which, after speaking to specialists, I now realise are largely a consequence of wearing bras that never properly supported me.
I have suffered from hiatus hernia, heartburn, IBS [Irritable Bowel Syndrome] and indigestion that I can pinpoint as starting when I first started wearing underwired bras.”
The DM reporter goes on to list an even longer laundry list of symptoms that Brailey supposedly developed as a result of a completely inadequate bra, including pain in her neck, head, shoulders, and elbows. Apparently, Brailey’s story goes that her huge honking chest pulled her body forward and somehow caused all of these symptoms, including shortening her legs.
The report goes on to claim that a properly designed bra from a specialist changed her life and made all of these worrisome woes disappear. The report even names the product and the manufacturer, although I won’t, because I’m not convinced.
If I was a betting woman — and, as a matter of fact, I am — I’d say that there’s probably a 99.9 percent chance that the magic bra didn’t cure her problems. I’d say that the lady just needed some attention, and anything that involved specialists fussing over her would have treated the problems ranging from short legs to tingling in the arms that she reported.
At least for now.
The problem with the placebo effect is that it wears off. I need more than one woman’s report one time that a magic bra cured her Irritable Bowel Syndrome and all the rest of her symptoms.
At least as scare stories go, this one is rather mild.
Who remembers the great “tight-fitting bras cause cancer” scare stories of yesteryear? Now, those were genuine ill-fitting bra health urban legends to put a shiver down your spine.
[bra photo by Serg Grigorenko via Shutterstock]