This was the week that was for wardrobe malfunctions. Maybe it was something in the stars, but everybody from A-list movie actresses to anonymous bank robbers were showing way more lingerie or skin than you’d normally expect. Hold onto your hat while we take a wild ride through this week’s top ten best moments in over-exposure.
10) The week opened with a bang with last Friday’s release of Star Trek Into Darkness. Self-proclaimed “Twitter masochist” and screenwriter Damon Lindelof apologized repeatedly and at length for a gratuitous scene where Alice Eve, playing Dr. Carol Marcus, appears in her underwear.
9) As a runner-up in the Star Trek category, we have Zoë Saldana giving an interview with Today to remind us that she’d posed completely naked in the June issue of Allure, which also posted some of the photographs online. Well, technically, she gave the interview to defend the magazine’s decision to post her weight on the cover, but I think she didn’t want you to forget that there was more than one woman with a great body appearing in the film.
8) Not to be outdone, singer Mariah Carey popped out of her pink Versace dress today while the cameras were rolling on Good Morning America. Oh, I’m sure that was completely accidental. Aren’t you?
7) While we’re on the topic of deliberate flashing to win eyeballs, an artist in Beijing came forward as the Wingjing Streaker. He had become famous over the past couple of months by staging naked stunts in the streets of Beijing.
One stunt involved riding a scooter while carrying a cross, which the Asian media widely reported as a crucifix since…hey…they don’t know the difference. Even better was a stunt where he ran naked down the street carrying a sex doll while an equally naked woman accomplice chased after him.
Oh Hey, It’s a Naked Man on a Scooter, Carrying a Crucifix … Art or rubbish… You decide… (I have)…kotaku.com/oh-hey-its-a-n…
— Peter Scott (@petescott) May 18, 2013
6)The Cannes Film Festival was apparently a great place to leave your underwear at home. Here’s Heidi Klum’s tweet from the event:
(No comment) twitter.com/heidiklum/stat…
— Heidi Klum (@heidiklum) May 17, 2013
5)But the best Cannes effort came from Eva Longoria. After flashing her lack of underpants by lifting a turquoise dress a little too high one night, she wanted to reassure us that she really did own a pair of underpants. We can see for ourselves in this tweet:
Here’s my dress for tonight! No wardrobe malfunctions tonight!!! say.ly/oyB5Reo
— Eva Longoria (@EvaLongoria) May 19, 2013
4)Heck, even the bank robbers were showing off their skimpies. The Stuart, Iowa Police Department released this surveillance video of an oddly-attired robber who appeared in a sheer green gown that revealed way too much of what was underneath:
3)I don’t think real strippers wear underclothes any more, but Jennifer Aniston appeared in a movie trailer for We’re The Millers as a stripper wearing bra and panties. A nervous Aniston claimed that she wore three bras while filming to prevent a wardrobe malfunction, so that might be as good as we’re gonna get from her.
2) Our runner-up for best — or at least most outrageous — wardrobe malfunction of the week is the soccer player who took off his pants and put them on his head after a scoring a goal. I think in real football they would call that excessive celebration but I won’t speak to soccer.
Before you view the video, be warned that Mario Gjurovski takes it all off. They try to pixelate his lack of underwear but if you’re easily offended, then…hmmm…why are you reading this top 10 in the first place?
And who is absolutely, positively, hands-down number one winner of the week?
1) It can only be Miranda Kerr, whose double nip slip wardrobe malfunction left the former Victoria’s Secret Angel completely naked above the waist. I’m not sure that this one was a malfunction at all. Judging from the completely fake look of shock on her face, it was a deliberate publicity stunt.
However, that particular wardrobe malfunction is also too spicy for a PG-rated site. You’ll have to search Twitter to find one of the many, many photos of the best double nip slip of the week — or maybe even of 2013.
[surveillance photo of green gown bank robber by Stuart Police Department via Facebook]
[Miranda Kerr by Miranda Kerr via Instagram]