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“Mount Vernon Statement” brings conservative self-delusion to a new level of fail

Posted: February 17, 2010

Like a bunch of abusive spouses, some self-labeled conservatives are having a moment of love for the constitution they mercilessly battered for most of the 2000s so far, with the grandstanding release of something called the “Mount Vernon Statement.” (On a website using possibly the most poorly executed WordPress theme of all time, no less.)

With no irony, Fox News crafts a revolutionary war flavored piece quoting members of the movement to protect things like our property and freedoms:

“For those of us striving hard every day to defend our nation’s freedoms from liberalism’s belief that an ever-increasing government is the cure for every care, the Mount Vernon Statement is a breath of fresh air that reminds us that constitutional conservatism need not be reinvented or poll-tested in each new election cycle,” said Rep. Mike Pence, R-Ind., chairman of the House Republican Conference.

What. A. Load. Of. Bollocks. Where the hell were all these Constitution-humpers during the last eight years when the Bush administration systematically peed all over the fourth, fifth and sixth amendments? Oh, so breaking up the murderous monopoly of insurance companies is somehow cause for Valley Forge 2, but it was okay when we lost our rights to:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

The “Patriot Act” anyone? While the government got busy tapping our phones and reading our e-mails to root out the turrists, I didn’t hear any vocal complaining from this bunch. And naming it the “Patriot Act” was like an extra “screw you” to the American people, as the patriots we learned about as American children would have bayonetted anyone who suggested such a thing.

Of course, you may say the constitution didn’t address these technologies, just like the constitution doesn’t address a modern concept like universal health coverage. (Bear in mind, back then, doctors anesthetized with moonshine and accepted grain sacks as payment.) Even still, if the founding fathers were presented with the idea of the government intercepting the correspondence of private citizens, I do believe they’d go what is now colloquially known as “apesh*t.”

No person shall be held to answer for any capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation:

Guantanamo Bay? Again, I don’t think the founding fathers thought these rights only existed outside of Cuba. George W. Bush and his band of merry constitution rapers threw this one out the window and rapidly, and again, where was the outrage then? Erosion of one’s rights within the criminal justice system over the past decade when the word “terrorism” was invoked should have scared people a hell of a lot more than an insurance premium under $867 a month for a small family.

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district where in the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defense:

Again, Guantanamo Bay, for starters. We’ve had people rotting down there for the better part of a decade with no plans to move or deal with them in a timely fashion. Merely by merit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, men have ended up in this judicial purgatory for years, and it’s shameful. But we should all speak up because poor people might get to go to the doctor, and that is not the American way.

Don’t forget the Eighth Amendment, either.

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted:

In the country where we’re known worldwide as allowing and encouraging torture, and we actually debate whether waterboarding is a useful interrogation technique. Fox News fellates these hypocrites in describing the goals of the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC):

It will speak directly to the three pillars of the modern movement: economic conservatives, social conservatives, and national security conservatives.

Economic conservatives my libertarian derriere. A bunch of people who supported two poorly planned and ill executed wars that had nothing to do with the September 11th attacks and saddled the American people with a massive debt burden should not be allowed to call themselves economically conservative. While we were off sending our troops to fight, ill-equipped I might add, in two countries that did not attack us, did not have weapons of mass destruction and causing a distraction from genuine national security, the American economy imploded and we lacked desperately needed soldiers to respond on American soil when the levees crumbled in New Orleans. So, massive fail on the whole national security/economic conservatism thing.

The biggest insult going in the whole conservative blogging lovefest over this idiocy is using the term “big brother” when discussing the possibility of healthcare reform. Wiretapping was perfectly acceptable, but when trying to break the stranglehold the government has on healthcare insurance comes into play, suddenly we’re all afraid of “big brother.” It would be funny if it wasn’t so tragically sad, and people weren’t dying in this country every single day because of it.

Comments


9 Archived Responses to “ “Mount Vernon Statement” brings conservative self-delusion to a new level of fail ”

  1. Dan E.
    Feb 17, 2010

    Amazing piece of ill-informed nonsense. First: In what way were any of your rights affected by the Patriot Act? What right was taken from you? The wire tapping you so decry had nothing to do with you unless you were receiving calls from terrorists outside of the US. Second: Those held in Guatanamo (which Obama has YET to close), are prisoners of war, not entitled to rights granted under the US Constitution. Finally, your push for universal healthcare in the context of this article is hilarious. Where in the Constitution is the US Federal Government given the power to establish universal healthcare? And what gives the US Government the right to force the individual to purchase a product or service that person may not want or need, such as healthcare?

  2. C
    Feb 17, 2010

    Thanks Dan! This is ridiculous. This is News? Maybe it would go over well with the patients in the local psych ward, wait no, I think they are more in line with reality than the nonsense in this article. You want to talk about self delusion? Okay, let’s talk about it, with the subjects being Al Franken, Barney Frank, Charlie Rangel, Barak Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Al Gore and the other goons that are in their camp. You wanna talk about fail? You have to look no further than the current administration. They are clueless. When you self proclaimed intellectuals, media types, and elitists get what you want in this country, make no mistake about it; you’ll be the first ones lined up for the firing squad. To believe that the constitution guarantees rights to those detained in Guantanamo Bay is just outright imbecilic.

  3. P. Odom
    Feb 17, 2010

    Kim LaCapria you have to be one of the biggest liberal hippies out there to actually believe that anyone has ever been prosecuted for any crime not related to terrorism from the Patriot Act. The Patriot Act has stopped numerous attacks on this country and other countries before they even got started. As for the 5th and 6th amendments you mentioned the prisoners of Club Gitmo are not U.S. citizens….let me repeat that they are NOT U.S. citizens they are prisoners of war and being from the military intelligence field myself no one…absolutely NO ONE ends up at Club Gitmo that does not deserve it. As for the interrogation techniques that you and your left wing nut jobs want to reject let me remind you that your very own Nancy Pelosi was on board with all of these methods until it got out that we were using them. Also I am sure that you have noticed I called Guantanamo Bay Club Gitmo and that is because the living conditions the prisoners have their is 1000% better then they had back in Iraq or Afghanistan or where ever they came from. The rights they have there is ridiculous, they are prisoners of war and should be treated as such and not treated like they are on vacation. Oh and then at the very end you want to talk about the spending of the Bush administration like it was tripling the national debt or something. Yes it is true they spent more money than they should have and they got out of hand but they were like penny pinchers compared to your beloved Barrack HUSSEIN Obama. In his first year in office he spent more money on NOTHING then bush did in his eight years. Your democrat losers had a super majority in both the House and the Senate and yet you guys could even pass any Health Care Bill. You really shouldn’t write anything this horrific and put your name next to it…its just embarrassing. Next time you decide to write an article you should do a little fact checking and maybe….just maybe….do what a good reporter/journalist is suppose to do and report the news unbiased so that the general public can make up their own minds about issues instead of trying to force the liberal/socialist/communist/neo-nazi agenda down the American public’s throat.

  4. Anonymous
    Feb 17, 2010

    wow, you have a lot of “feelings”.

  5. Jeffrey
    Feb 18, 2010

    Kim LaCapria, you are a complete idiot. You don’t deserve to be a US citizen. You are entitled to your opinion, no matter how stupid it is; you and Rosie O’Donnell would make quite a comical pair. However, your Liberal, Hippie throw back “everyone should fuck and love and fuck and get high and fuck and fuck” mentality are what are destroying this country. You are a traitor, and we should ship you and your fucking dumbass Liberal cohorts to Iran and see how long you last.

  6. james l
    Feb 20, 2010

    This is 100% accurate. As usual the posters are in denial. Rather than accept the facts they scream the words liberal socialism and hig taxes and call the author a liar. These Tea Party crackpots are blind idiots. “I’m mad as hell and I don’t know what I’m talking about ” should be their mantra.

  7. Dan E.
    Feb 20, 2010

    james l, instead of throwing out generalizations like “This is 100% accurate,” why don’t you answer the questions we have asked. You can start with mine: Where in the Constitution is the US Federal Government given the power to establish universal healthcare? And what gives the US Government the right to force the individual to purchase a product or service that person may not want or need, such as healthcare?

  8. James L
    Feb 21, 2010

    Dan. The point of the article is that all the gripes the tea party idiots and CPAC liars had with this president they essentially fell asleep and let the last president do exactly what they’re claiming is evil. Even the arguments about healthcare you put up here are lame. The cost of healthcare is rising to 20% of our incomes while taxes are 10-15%. Letting the tax system hear your wrath in these protests while the healthcare industry pick your pockets is moronic. We pay more for healthcare than any other country and get less. Healthcare is a matter of national security. Time to start paying attention to more than just the people you agree with. Just because you think something doesn’t mean you know anything.

  9. Dan E.
    Feb 24, 2010

    James, feel free to answer the actual questions I posed: Where in the Constitution is the US Federal Government given the power to establish universal healthcare? And what gives the US Government the right to force the individual to purchase a product or service that person may not want or need, such as healthcare?