Posted in: Opinion

Spanking Good, Twerking Bad, Beating With Video Cable Just Ugly

Spanking Good, Twerking Bad, Beating With Video Cable Just Ugly

Spanking and corporal punishment in general have come under fire over the years. The recent twerking incident has many defending the father, but can’t we all agree that beating your kids with a video cable is just going overboard?

As previously reported by The Inquisitr, a father’s two daughters made a twerking video, the father responded by physically punishing them, and in response he has been charged with child endangerment and corporal punishment (how is the second one a crime in the first place?).

Twerking has apparently become popular fairly recently. Twerking involves wobbling or jiggling the hips and buttocks in a vigorous fashion and people have begun posting videos of themselves doing the twerk. Miley Cyrus explained twerking as “something that comes naturally. It’s a lot of booty action.”

The last time everyone started arguing over spanking and corporal punishment is when a dollar general clerk was arrested for spanking an unruly customer’s child. In that case there really was not a clear choice. On one side, you could say that it “takes a village” and that society should be responsible for the good upbringing of all children. But it could also be fairly argued that it was not the place of the clerk to spank the child. Instead, the clerk should have remanded the child to the parent for punishment.

In the case of the recent twerking incident, I get the feeling that the people in support of corporal punishment are not watching the video. Basically, after the father found his daughter’s twerking he yanked the video cable free from the PC monitor and started punishing. The good news is that he did not use the ends of the VGA cable, which could have some major damage. Instead, he folded the cable in half to use it as a whip.

As we all know, it’s said that “he who spares the rod hates his own child.” Now some could argue the video cable is not too different from the switch that parents have been using for millennia. My own parents used a wooden paddle with holes drilled into it. But there’s no comparison since a VGA cable is essentially a metal whip covered in a thin layer of insulating rubber.

So my criticism comes not in the fact that this father used corporal punishment, but in the manner the spanking took place. Parenting experts advise that when a parent spanks a child they should not be angry. First, the parent should calmly talk to the child about what they did wrong. The child should know that it grieves the parent to be punishing them. After the spanking is over the parent should reaffirm how much they love the child.

The twerking father did none of these things. Yes, the daughters needed to be taught a lesson. Yes, he was filled with righteous anger and was not thinking straight. Yes, it’s pretty messed up to see the government arrest a parent for doing his job, even if done poorly. But can you honestly say that beating a child with a video cable was the right way to go about spanking?

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70 Responses to “Spanking Good, Twerking Bad, Beating With Video Cable Just Ugly”

  1. Barbara Ranson

    I don't feel spanking is wrong and yanking the cable out was a good action using it to whipping his daughters not a good idea, confiscating cell phones and the cable with a strong lecture about bad behavior should have been enough.

  2. M Marie McVey

    Twerking is nasty, slutty dancing imitating sexual moves to arouse those watching. I can just imagine what went through the girls' father's mind seeing them act like prostitutes and pole dancers on camera to the world. Seriously. They deserved a beating they would never forget. Unfortunately, by arresting the dad, the world seems to approve of this behavior and negates the purpose of the spanking, making the kids feel justified in their actions, like THAT was okay and their dad's disapproval not okay. Punishing their dad sends the wrong message. But I guess nobody sees that.

  3. Becky Crissman

    This may sound crazy but my son is 16 years old and the only time I can ever recall spanking him is when he was playing in a store and hid in a clothes rack and did not answer when I called… As a mother the first thought was he had been kidnapped so I was more afraid than anything and spanked him. I have a cousin whose son, who is now grown as well, hated to write so when he did wrong he would make him write sentences. The child would bring a belt and beg to be beaten. I will say this. As a former student of criminal justice and our teacher said something that stuck with me… He said if the police get called and your child has some switch marks on their legs or something he is going to tell that kid they will act better next time but if he ever came up and seen a kid with black eyes and cord marks all over their body the parent is going to jail. There is a difference in discipline and beating. I have always found that a spanking is over too quickly… Taking things they truly love away from them is much better and has a lasting affect. Take those cell phones, computers, video games, television, ipods, etc. away for a few weeks and see the transformation. But the biggest thing is to BE CONSISTENT….

  4. Martha L Hayes

    I agree with taking away things too but I also fully believe in spanking. Not beating, spanking. I think alot thay is wrong with schools is the discipline has been taken away from teachers. I used a fly swap when Alicia was growing up but didn't have to use it much because after a few times using it all I had to do was pick it up. I think when a child ask to be spanked it wasn't applied right the first time.

  5. Jennifer Rinker

    Spanking should absolutely be employed whenever a child does something that 1) endangers themselves 2) endangers someone else or 3) if continued, would result in going to jail (lying, stealing, blatant insolence toward authority). Punishment should not be about causing pain, it is to teach the child that there are things that are not acceptable and to give them an immediate unpleasant consequence.

  6. Nicole Snyder

    I don't feel that father was wrong he just doesn't want his daughters turning into little hoes I have alot of respect for him cause believe me they will never do it again

  7. Nicole Snyder

    Abd I also think after he beat them he should of smashed the computers and cell phones

  8. Tessa Joy Fultz

    Mine got spanked until they were old enough to talk to and understand consequences of their actions!!! Nice "member" of the church called Defacs and I was told the same thing, even that the judge they used believed in corporal punishment and spanking their ass is different than beating them senseless. EVEN at school, you can sign a paddling form!

  9. Angela F Bates-Priest

    The State of Indiana took away my children and my parental rights and put my children up for adoption due to my ex husband repeatedly over about 16 years spanking my children but the finial was not due to spanking. he spent time in jail and prison over the years and had at the point that the finial incident happened had not had any problems for about 10 years and the two youngest who were never spanked and were the ones lost should not have been taken. in court on the finial day we were told by our attorney who was a free attorney that we had no choice we had to sign the termination papers. and that after court I said we would appeal it and the attorney said oh no it is finial we could not appeal it. I found out thru another attorney many months later that we did have the right to appeal it but only had 30 days to do it. and it was too late.

  10. Becky Crissman

    I agree kids need to be held accountable for their actions from the time they are old enough to understand…. I think it is crucial… Each child is diff some may need a little spanking others respond to grounding and hey both works too

  11. Penny Wells

    I sure don't see it. He so deserved to go to jail. There are a lot of civilized people like me and my parents before me that didn't believe in abusing our children. If that man had done that to you, you would be singing a different tune I'm sure…You need to set rules for your children and also tell them the consequences if they break them. You have to remind them often and never, never, never back down. But you NEVER need to hit them. Don't change the rules and don't change the consequences. It takes intelligence and patience to raise children. It is not a job for stupid people….Violence teaches violence…period. ALL of the kids I grew up with who were abused all rebelled at one time or another. They broke all of the rules because the consequences encouraged bad behavior. Just so you know. I have 5 brothers and 2 sisters and we are all are responsible people who have good jobs or own our own businesses. My sons are also responsible adults, One is a Combat Medic, the other is a Graphics Engineer. They would also do anything for me, and have…..

  12. Penny Wells

    I am amazed at the comments I have read here. There are still so called intelligent people that think abuse of any sort is ok. You people probably teach your child what no means. Then when they say it to you, you probably hit them. It would never occur to your tiny little mind that they can't possibly understand the concept of when the word is appropriate. Children do not think like adults, they cannot comprehend what is appropriate behavior. They have to learn everything, EVERYTHING…Every word and deed has different meanings and it is up to you to teach this to them. They don't even remember what they are taught the first time they learn it. Ignorance is no excuse for violence. Teenagers are going to screw up. That is what they do, they can't think about consequences all the time. They just do stupid things. It is up to us to guide them. You are the type of parent that has rebellious kids, kids that drink smoke or get into trouble. You start teaching them bad behavior before you ever show them proper behavior. You should be ashamed. Thank God my parents had more brains than any of you. My sons would do anything for me. They are both educated. One is a Combat Medic the other is a Computer Graphics Engineer..anything they wanted they worked for. I never bought them a car. I never paid their insurance or bought them a phone…I did not pay for college….I raised adults. Adults take care of themselves. I never beat anything into them…

  13. Andrew Barkley

    Spanking doesn't require much effort or imagination. If you don't like getting hit when you annoy someone then don't hit your children. Better still, educate yourself on how to discipline without violence. I choose to be respected not feared.

  14. Kevin Seyffert

    Sorry Andrew I disagree. As s parent you need to be willing to smack but only if it's really required. It really foes need to be reserved for those situations where the consequences of them not cooperating can not be accepted. For example, life threatening… I'd rather knock the living daylights out of a kid than risk having them kill themselves… most of the time though, you are right. There are better alternatives. Just not always…

  15. Mitchell Tyner

    Agreed Marie McVey, that's the whole reason society is breaking down and morals are at an all time low. People don't punish their children, children don't see "go to your room" as punishment. The hands off type parent is just that… they care nothing for their child's upbringing. Sadly one day when it gets so bad maybe people will start getting smart and change their ways but I don't see it. Simply put if you are too afraid to punish your child in a way that the child sees as punishment then those people shouldn't have children, it would make the world a much better place. Oh and yeah this is coming from an Adult who was "spanked" in a way that is close to what the article states, "not while mad, and tell them why they are getting punished etc" I've turned out so much better from this and it has made me a better person. This also teaches children there are consequences to their actions. As an example I will say that the people who actually punish their children I have noticed have overall better behaved children than the "hands off type"

  16. Mitchell Tyner

    I have seen this basic post over and over by you, I will say this. To each their own, but I do not in any way shape or form agree with you. I have seen to many hands off parents such as you raise hell on wheels children that have no moral being because it wasn't instilled in them. Some children do fine with time outs and grounding but others will push you until you act. That is the way of children. They don't care for the most part how they make you feel, or how they embarrass you by their actions. It often takes a firm approach to teach them there are consequences to their actions and this is what happens when you do this. If the hands off approach is working for you and your family then great but for most people it does not. And you have no room to talk down to people who parent differently or to belittle them "tiny little mind" because of the way they do things. It seems to me that maybe you were not disciplined as a child and taught that it is wrong to belittle people and talk down to them. Regardless, parent the way you want to and talk your mind but don't be rude to people who do things differently than you.

  17. Mitchell Tyner

    You don't hit your children because they are annoying … seriously? You spank when the "rules" have been set and they break the rules. I'm all for a warning, but after I warn and the action is repeated then it progresses. After the second time, the action will not be repeated.

  18. Barry Schulman

    Ok after reading this post I have to say you need a wake up call. Because the fact is you are totally wrong. Does Karlie fear me? No she does not. She however respects all adults as that is expected of her.

    She gets a smack when she does not listen or she endangers herself.

    Smacking is not even about causing pain. You have seen me hit karlie and lets be honest I do not smack her hard.

    But I do not give warning, I do not ask please, I do not beg. Smack…. over and done with.

    Look at the schooling system:

    When we went to school if we were bad we got a smack or two with a cane.

    Nowadays?

    Kids hit the teachers they shout and swear at them and they just get detention….. Well thats if they bother to even go to it.

    Now lets look at you. You beg, You shout, You scream, You plead. But you do NOT SMACK!

    And tell me how is that working for you? Because if we are honest you are not feared but most importantly you are NOT respected.

    You permanently have to fight with mat because he wont listen to you and why should he? There are no consequences. What is going to happen at worst? You will get pissed off and tell Linda to take care of it.

    She then gets shouted at by your son who you claim respects you guys. He spits at her, he swears at her.

    Andy wake up boet. Your "rather be respected than feared" has failed miserably.

    So in future before writing posts about disciplining measures, rather think about how your own lack of any discipline measures is failing you, your wife & your son.

    It's time you put your stubbornness aside and just admit your way is not working in the slightest!

  19. Andrew Barkley

    You are entitled to your opinion. Matthew is a difficult child but he is 4. I will continue to avoid the "apparent" short term gains of smacking in the interest of the long term. It may blow up in my face but then your method might very well do the same so let's wait and see shall we.

  20. Barry Schulman

    Ok we will wait. But as carey said I should point out…. Heer and debbie were smacked and I wasn't. Look at how I turned out. Auryn=not smacked look at how he turned out. Keryn=smacked becoming an astrophysicist. Kinda speaks volumes.

  21. Andrew Barkley

    You have just made my next point. I was hit as a child and how many physical altercations did you personally witness involving me never mind the ones you only heard about when I was a teen. I learned to react physically as a child when people did things I didn't like. My son is cut from the same cloth and i worry that history will repeat itself. How I stayed on the right side of the law as a youngster I'll put down to luck but I fear my son may not be so lucky. He is like me in every way so I have opted out of physical measures having been the product of such discipline myself. Your daughter is a different child and at the end of the day it's always going to be a roll of the dice. My not hitting has very personal meaning to me. Perhaps i'm not entirely objective in the broad sense but I can't risk it. despite not hitting, Matt is still physically aggressive as you can attest and I am fearful of fueling the fire. As for Kerin, you could have done what you liked, he would still have prospered just as many notorious serial killers in history came from loving homes.

  22. Linda Barkley

    I would just like to say that our applied behavioral analyst has told us that with children Matthew's age it is not a matter of respect. Now Barry, go to UCT for a few years and get a qualification in child psychology and occupational therapy and then we can have a discussion about what is best for my child.

  23. Carey Seyffert

    When I read your post I will admit that my hackles raised. I don't normally comment on yours or Linda's posts about how to raise a child, neither do I judge you guys on howyou choose to raise Matthew. What gets me is that you always judge others (me included) on how we choose to raise our kids. Now I am no expert on child raising and I haven't been to UCT to obtain a degree, I have learnt through 21 years of raising children from all backgrounds that each child responds differently to dicipline, and what works for 1 chld does not work for another, as parents we won't know if our choice worked or not untl your child has grownup and become an adult. and even then we will not fully know because one thng I hope we all do is teach our children to make their own choices about how they want to live their lives and we may not agree with the choices they make but it is not up to us, we can only guide them. But however we choose too raise our children is our business. It is not a competition to see who raises the best kids, we are all tryng to do the best for our kids. I will not even try to pretend that I know what you giys are dealing with with Matthew's issues, the same as I ask you not to pretend to understand how we deal with the issues our kids have. All I aks is that you stop judging other peoples choices. At the end of the day I am proud to be a mom and I try to be the best mom I can to all my kids and yes I make mistakes but then no-one is perfect.

  24. Carey Seyffert

    By the way I really do hope that not one of my kids become a serial killer because I can garantee you they did not learn that from me!

  25. Andrew Barkley

    Anyway, Barry brought you into the debate. I was exchanging with him exclusively before he sighted examples.

  26. Linda Barkley

    I am not judging anyone but Barry is convinced the same discipline techniques he uses for Karlie would work for Matt and, like you say, every child is different. I tried smacking and it only made things worse. That is why we chose to seek professional help with our particular child. It raises my hackles when unqualified people think they know better.

  27. Carey Seyffert

    Like I said what works for you is all that matters. Nobody is knocking you for your efforts. the worst thing us as parents do is compare our kids with other peoples kids and inn the end it only upsets us because our kids are perfectly happy no matter what. no two kids are the same even if they come from the same parents. I don't think anyone will ever know the right way to bring up kids because with each generation it changes and the previous generation was doing it wrong, it has been like that for hundreds of years.

  28. Andrew Barkley

    Carey, I did not imply anything about you. Barry used your son and Auren as examples. I sought to reveal the weakness in the argument. Some kids will turn out fine no matter what and others will have issues no matter what. He made the issue out to be black and white saying that Auren didn't get spanked and isn't the success that Kerin is because of it. This is plainly absurd. There is so much that he is just ignoring like the genetic component (serial killers with frontal lobe issues and impaired empathy etc) which will play out badly no matter what you do and environmental influences like schooling, treatment by peers etc.

  29. Andrew Barkley

    Anyway, as Linda said, she hit Matt then he went to school and hit everyone else. She was advised not to do this and Matts behaviour towards others corrected itself.

  30. Carey Seyffert

    I was only joking about the killer thing! Relax, I was quite enjoying the debate. I also hate it when people tell me I am doing it wrong. Today for example Nellie was into emptying my bedside cupboard all day and in the end I gave her a mini lecture about how cross I was and that I would smack her bum if she did it again(knowing full well that xhe would do it again because she is only 1 and did not really understand me). Anyway she gave me a filthy look and walked away but John was here at the time and he thinks the sun shines out her bum and she can do no wrong and he started to compare the different ways I treat each kid and he felt that Nellie was unfairly treated. I got soo pissed off becasue yes I do treat all my kids differently not because I love them anyless that the next one but because each one responds to things differently.

  31. Carey Seyffert

    The only way to get through to Kaily when she is doing wrong is to get Keryn to speak to her and then she listens for some reason, Neo only responds if he thinks he has upset me, Timothy…well to put it bluntly HE IS SPOILT!! And now it is coming back to bite me in the arse!! Nellie I am still learning what works for her. but hey I enjoy each day I have with my kids, ups and downs and I would not change any one of them.

  32. Barry Schulman

    Linda Barkley: Ok hang on one god damn minute. I do not need to goto UCT to learn how to raise a child. I have plenty of experience and every child I've raised or help raise has been a polite, respectful & well mannered child. With that being said OBVIOUSLY I do know what I am doing.

    Now Linda, I have spoken to you before about how you view Mats "problem" Can you give me 1 good reason why it should be viewed as a negative all the time? I have tried showing you that even though you keep coming up with SDP and blah blah blah if you just change the way you search google you come up with positives. But no I know nothing…..

    Tell me linda…. Hows your R400 ph doc and your 1950's book doing when it comes to raising a child? put his sdp aside. hows he doing?

    "Barry is convinced the same discipline techniques he uses for Karlie would work for Matt "

    Dont talk shit. Not once have I said raise him like karlie. What I have said is you and andrew need to both get your heads out your arses, and start working together instead of being like little children yourselves.

    You shout at mat=Andrew goes off at you.
    You threaten to hit mat=Andrew threatening you back

    Andrew shouts at mat=You going off at andrew
    Andrew wanting to hit mat (which he may deny but I have seen it already a number of times)=You going off at andrew.

    No fucking wonder your son has behaviour issues!!! Look at what he gets shown by his own parents.

    Mat is not the problem here linda…. It is you and andrew. end of story.

    Mia has SDP did emma bring her up differently? No. She was expected to be respectful, not spit in her mothers face, not be sworn at either.

    I have not once said mat will be easy to bring into line BUT you will NEVER get it right until you and andrew start to realise that you are both parents now. Not his friend not foo foo's play pal. You are his parents. And as such you two have to find some common ground.

    Now do you still want me to fuck off to uct? Because I tell you what I just gave you a 100% honest look into your life from an outsider.

    I can get mat to behave to more of a degree. He knows there are consiquences with me. Look how he LOVES me to put him to bed. Jus that little deal we make every night i do it that he gets to feel like someone is actually setting boundries that he understands and appreciates because no one comes and starts shouting at me for crap.

    Linda wake up. Mat has far less of a problem than you will ever know.

  33. Barry Schulman

    Andrew Barkley: Andrew please Linda says that mat hits kids because she hit him, Linda says mat behaves bad because he has sugar, Linda says mat swears because we swear, linda says mat is violent because of tom and jerry….. Linda also says that, that fucking rose water crap herb shit made mat behave better…. she could see the difference….. she knows it works……

    You said BULLSHIT! She is just doing what a christian does which is affirm what they want to believe.

    And the same rings true for everything else I just listed.

  34. Barry Schulman

    My point is guys. Stop fucking being holier than thou. I can show you millions of adults who were DISCIPLINED as children, maybe smacked, maybe shouted at… who knows, that are perfectly fucntioning humans in society. I can also assure you that I can show you that they are not mentally harmed by what they went through, they do not resent their parents, they both love and respect their parents they are not fearful of them as andrew so kindly inferred in his post.

    STOP this whole charade you play, because until either of you can actually raise a child with manners, respect, love for the world, love for themselves. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT OT CRITISIZE ANY OTHER PARENT FOR THEIR WAY OF BRINGING A CHILD UP! Especially when their child is a good one.

  35. Barry Schulman

    OH Andrew…. Carey actually brought me into the debate not the other way round. I had no idea of this post until she brought it up with me

  36. Barry Schulman

    Carey Seyffert

    "Timothy…well to put it bluntly HE IS SPOILT!! And now it is coming back to bite me in the arse!! "

    My life is complete now…. You have ACTUALLY admitted it…. Now I feel I can die in peace one day LMAO

  37. Linda Barkley

    Just one question Barry. Whose is criticizing who? Did I criticize you the other day when you told your 4 yr old to fuck off? And I don't think you should take all the credit for her behaviour when you only have her 2 days a week.

  38. Barry Schulman

    Linda Barkley: 2 days a week? Linda check your facts. even andrew knows I have her 240 days a year. And even though I told her to fuck off do you notice she wont repeat it? Hmmmmmm

  39. Linda Barkley

    It is important to remember that the relationship a daughter has with her father can set the tone for the rest of her life when it comes to men.

  40. Rich Bessette

    Agreed…and I'm not even a parent. You have no right to talk down to parents who choose to spank their kids. My parents would give me and my siblings a good spanking if I ever did anything wrong. And not for every little thing either. I didn't resent them….I learned my lesson. And now that I'm grown up I respect them for doing so. Let's face it…"time-out" just don't cut it. Spanking is an effective way of discipline..NOT violence. And Penny, good for you that your parents didn't spank and you turned out fine, and same with your kids…..that's great! And you are entitled to your opinion, but to call my parents and others "little-minded" and ignorant is not acceptable. Please keep you ignorance to yourself!

  41. Rich Bessette

    And furthermore….because people believe in spanking doesn't mean they agree with what this father did.They deserved to be spanked but he obviously did go overboard according to the video. In this case, he should have been arrested. This was abuse…..not spanking. There is a difference!!

  42. George Schmitt

    If you physicaly hit another adult it is assault and battery, big trouble. But if you beat the shit out of a little kid , well that's just good disipline! Disipline is when you have the guts to do the right thing, beating children is NOT THE RIGHT THING TO DO. What would you do if someone whipped yo with an electric cord. Jail time!

  43. Cb Crane

    spanking is NOT good. It just teaches young children that the way to deal with what annoys us or breaks a rule or whatever is to hurt the person who is doing the annoying. And so it goes from generation to generation and we have road rage, wars, people shooting people because they feel disrespected and so on. I don't think hitting or spanking kids is ever good. The violence all around us will never go away until there is a sea change in how we raise children.