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Dad’s Letter To Gay Son Nate Goes Viral, Breaks Hearts

dad's letter to gay son

A dad’s letter to his gay son has become an internet sensation, after readers across the web were moved by the father’s preemptive acceptance of his son’s coming out.

Little is known about the boy, Nate, and his father, but a letter from the dad to his gay son suggests some background to the story.

The letter begins, “Nate: I overheard your phone conversation with Mike last night about your plans to come out to me … The only thing I need you to plan is to bring home OJ and bread after class.”

The dad’s letter to his gay son continues:

“We are out, like you now. I’ve known you were gay since you were six, I’ve loved you since you were born.”

Simply signed “Dad,” the note goes on to say, “P.S. — your mom and I think you and Mike make a cute couple.”

The letter has gotten nearly 30,000 Facebook shares from the page on which it originated this morning, FCKH8.

Yahoo spoke with both FCKH8’s Luke Montgomery as well as the family from whom the note was obtained. Nate and his dad are remaining anonymous for now, but as the note makes its way across the social web, Montgomery says that the outpouring of emotion is both moving and somewhat sad.

He tells the site that FCKH8 receives “a lot of crazy stuff,” and admits he “almost didn’t look at it.” Montgomery admits he was moved to tears by the emotional missive, but he also is saddened by what the positive reaction says about how we expect a teen’s coming out to be handled in the average family.

Montgomery comments on the dad’s letter to his gay son and its viral feedback on Facebook:

“It’s actually sad so many people are excited about it. And what I think that says is, one, it’s rare, and that’s really bad. And two, people are really craving this kind of reaction.”

PFLAG, a support organization for families with gay kids, also commented on the letter, telling Yahoo:

“This letter is what PFLAG is all about—what child doesn’t want to receive unconditional love from his or her parents?. For some, like this dad, it comes quickly. For others, it may take time. But regardless of how or when they get there, parents need to have their kids’ backs, no matter what. So applause for Nate’s dad. And Nate? You better remember the OJ and bread!”

Maybe Luke Montgomery is wrong — perhaps the positive reaction is due to old ideas, ones not many would embrace in 2013. After all, Sen. Rob Portman just came out today about his own son’s coming out and gay marriage reversal.

Below is the letter in full from a dad to his gay son.

dad's letter to gay son

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52 Responses to “Dad’s Letter To Gay Son Nate Goes Viral, Breaks Hearts”

  1. Marnie Carole Longmuir

    love this so much! it is exciting because so many people in the world are so biased as think being gay is a choice for someone. His dad clearly respects him and shows it with his humor and compassion. Bravo Dad! you are a true hero<3 I only wish the whole parenting world would wake up! Love our kids for who they are and not what they are!

  2. Patricia Lynn Jones

    Who r u to know what God would think. Does He not love all His children? Even u?

  3. M Marie McVey

    What, you think God didn't make gays too? God is all about unconditional love. If your god isn't, you really need to rethink it all….

  4. Tammy Gorby

    I do not believe in this gay thing it is sicking I believe what God say in the Bible and you better to because it tell us several time it is not right.And I believe what I read in my Bible not what man wants to do because it is wrong. If one of my son came and told he has is gay I would go get my Bible and read to him or her the word of God on this and it is most certain not what is going or in the world today. And if he or she wants to be that way I would make them leave my house and not to come back until they get it right I don't want my sons going to Hell because of this sickness I do not stand for this and never will. It is wrong.

  5. Debbie Estes

    I loved the fact this father is so supportive..we should love our children unconditionally…@Pam Gregg: God does love all his chidren and he will not turn away anybody….so what wuld you do if your child came out to you?

  6. Sandy Valencour

    What a dad and son. God loves all His children! Yup, made me cry because of the stress gay's suffer at a time like this. They DON'T change, they are still our children, our sisters, brothers, parents and the ones we loved all along!

  7. Dolores VanPelt

    Do you follow ALL of the commandments? No because there is no one on earth that is WITHOUT sin.The only unforgivable sin that I know of –is not excepting Him as your savior.I myself are not gay,but that doesn't mean I am better than anyone who is.stop and think not following the commandments is a sin,but WE ALL ARE GUILTY OF THAT!!!

  8. Tammy Jo

    Then you let God be the judge not you…God saids to love all people…unconditional..Sad to this to turn your heart on your own child because he/she was gay…I will pray for you…

  9. Ray Mcdowell

    @ pam i fuck all women it dont matter if they are married or what if there is grass on the lawn i am cutting it,old enough to bleed old enough to breed

  10. Dolores VanPelt

    While you are reading your Bible, turn to John 3:16 where it says that WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH IN HIM SHALL HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE.I am not aperson who claims to know the Bible as well as I should, but I do know when I die my soul will go to Heaven, but I will be a sinner until that time, and remember JESUS died on the cross for OUR sins.

  11. Tammy Gorby

    I want them to live gods way not mans way it is wrong. I wish you would pray for me but I will pray for you to . If you believe in Gods word it is all in the Bible. That is what I want for my sons. Mans word is so wrong. No God does not dislike these people he want them to live by his words and being gay is not his word. And he will give them a chance to change there minds and to make it right because God is all about love. What i'am saying is not juding these people he wants them to change. My sons know the Bible and they know that this is wrong and sick. Amen to my sons.

  12. Claudia Masciangioli

    To all you who are against gays you need to reread your Bible and look for the passage that says on He can judge and you are not to. Well to that I would say that to me the biggest sin is you going out on the weekends and looking for a new bed partner every week or worst yet every night. Commitment is the only way to have a good relationship and be in His good graces. And if two men or two women decide to commit to each other who is to say they are wrong. No I am not gay but some of my family is. But as a parent of a gay child, I am just happy they found someone to commit the rest of their life to. Isn't that what you all want for your child. That they are happy and in a loving relationship.

  13. Tammy Gorby

    No I do not and neither do you. No one does we are all sinners. But I will not stand up for this gay. crap when I know that it is wrong.I know and believe what it says in the Bible about being gay . I will not go along with it just because other people choose to . No i'am not perfect there is only one perfect man and that is God.. But what I don't get you read your Bible and it plainly tells us it is wrong then why do people still do it. And this is not judgeing them God plainly tells you it is wrong in every way.

  14. Brenda Thomas

    u called it a sickness so u would cast your son out because of a sickness. Shame. You are the sinner!

  15. Juan O. Lawson

    Living a gay lifestyle is one thing; celebrating a gay lifestyle is another. Living an adulterous life style is one thing; celebrating an adulterous life style is another. Should I go on? Of course one should love a person who is born with genetic, hormonal, and genital conditions which may lead that person to have sexual feelings that are not heterosexual. Of course we should love a person who is born with Down's syndrome. Of course we should love persons who are born with missing limbs… Should I go on again? I THINK THAT WE ARE GETTING BEHAVIOR WHICH IN LARGE PART WE CAN CHANGE CONFUSED WITH BIRTH CONDITIONS WHICH IN LARGE PART WE CANNOT CHANGE.

  16. Debbie Estes

    @ Tammy Gorby do you realize that people are born gay? It is not something you just wake up to one morning and decide its a great day to be gay!! Childen are a gift from God, so if we have a gay child God created him! You sound like a hypocrite to me! Then to say you would throw your own child out of your house OMG I feel sorry for your children….Oh and by the way I am not gay or lesbian

  17. Heidi Linke

    Maybe GOD was a closet homosexual too! Why do you think he wore dresses? To each his own! They're not shoving their sexual preference in your face so don't shove your religious BS in their faces!

  18. Tejan Dj'Maccabeus Bangura

    What about if someone love his sister. Should he be judged.Homosexuality is sin believe it or not.Their are certain in life u just cannot do it.can u put on the different put on a different pair of shoes together.NO.

  19. Dolores VanPelt

    Tammy Gorby The bible also says–JUDGE NOT,LEST YOU BE JUDGED,You said you would pray for me,well I appreciate that very much,because I need prayers.As I said before–it is not my cup of tea,butI LOVE liver while most people don't,this just proves we are all different,and I don't feel I have the right to tell someone what they are doing is wrong.We will ALL stand before Him on judgement day,so I don't have to answer for anyone else's sins,and I am sure glad ,because I have enough of my own to answer for.

  20. Helaine O. Newman

    Tammy, you are the reason people hate christians. You are misinformated, you interpret the bible with hate in your heart, and your writing shows how little you think about anything…especially about getting an education. Hopefully, your boys will learn what an ignorant person you are and not carry on the cycle of intolerance in which you're raising them.

  21. Juan O. Lawson

    Some sociobiologists would say that all behavior is genetic, that no one is responsible for his/her behavior. (Of course they say it in a more elegant and scientific way.) Do you agree? Is your field sociobiology? Are you an expert in that field? Is it "proven" that our behavior is gentic? As a physical scientist, I have read and done much research and fully understand what "proven" means, and I would say that "proven" cannot be used in this case.

  22. Juan O. Lawson

    Also, Helaine O. Newman, I see that you are rather "sure" of your statement as if you have done much research on the subject and have done much reading of research on the subject. I, as an experienced researcher and reader, would suggest to you that we can seldom be sure of very much, because we are always learning. That is the way it is in my field and has been in my experiences. When you use the word "it," are you referreing to our inclinations, our physical (genetic, hormonal, etc.) and psychological makeup, or to our behavior? If you are referring to behavior, are we responsible for our behavior in any way?

  23. Juan O. Lawson

    Also, Helaine O. Newman, I see that you are rather "sure" of your statement as if you have done much research on the subject and have done much reading of research on the subject. I, as an experienced researcher and reader, would suggest to you that we can seldom be sure of very much, because we are always learning. That is the way it is in my field and has been in my experiences. When you use the word "it," are you referreing to our inclinations, our physical (genetic, hormonal, etc.) and psychological makeup, or to our behavior? If you are referring to behavior, are we responsible for our behavior in any way?

  24. Tammy Gorby

    Brenda Thomas I never said that I was perfect and I stand by what I said it is wrong if he or she were gay yes I would.

  25. Tammy Gorby

    Helaine O. Newman I do not interpret the bible with hate ,and just because you think I 'am stupid you can have all the EDUCATION you want but if you don't have common sence you have nothing. you can talk big and be the most ignorant person there is. No my boys make fun of idiots like you.

  26. Tammy Gorby

    Claudia Masciangioli you have know idea who i'am and for your information i'am not a whore and don't sleep around on the week ends .I have been married for 36 yrs. I know that is hard to believe in to days world.I"am happy for my boys because they have made commits with women.. We want grand children . God did not make two woman to birth a child or two men to birth a child it takes a man and a woman the last time I new. Being gay is wrong.

  27. Tammy Gorby

    Have ever heard of Sodom and Gomorrah? Because they were two city's that were destroyed because of the gays.And God is the one who destroyed them they can not even find a spic of dust of them.

  28. Joy Karr-Wiseley

    To Tammy Gorby: part of your reply was"And I believe what I read in my Bible not what man wants to do because it is wrong." I believe in God , but man wrote the bible as their interpertation. God is more forgiving than any off you bible toting hipprocrates

  29. Lucille Rangel

    A parents love should be "UNCONDITIONAL." But, sadly most parents don't see it that way. Love is Love! As long as the person who has come out is happy with his choice or decision whatever you may call it. That's all that should matter. If it's not accepted with society, then, to bad! Because it's not about society! It's about one individual person. Thank you.

  30. Meleta Baker

    God makes it very clear that no man should lay with another man. If that's not telling you it's wrong, maybe you need to re-read your bibles.

  31. Penny Wells

    Maybe you need to read your Bible. Not just the parts you like. There are a lot of verses in the Bible that are ignored by the likes of you because they do not back up your hate or prejudices . You probably refer to yourself as a "Christian" but you are NOT. You are just another judgmental idiot who uses God to justify your inability to do what Christ taught. Pick a quiet corner and start reading. Until you do, you need to shut up and put your stupidity on hold….

  32. Penny Wells

    Wow are you messed up. It also says in the Bible that if your wife is not a virgin you need to put her to death. It also says if you don't love your neighbor then you don't love God. How about vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord. I could go on and on all day, but even you have to admit you are only picking on this subject because you are judgmental, bigoted and have a problem with minding your own business. We have all sinned and come short of the Glory of God. The difference between you and me is, I accept my sins and I live to accept all of Gods people for who they are and not what I think they should be. God makes no mistakes….God is forgiving…God does not need you to speak for Him….You need to start reading you Bible…all of it…not just the parts that you have convinced yourself back up you lack of character……

  33. Ruth Bacon

    Am "brave" Dad who knew, or thought he knew, since the kid was six, and did not have the knowledge or the guts to sit down and talk to the kid and lead him away from that choice. Shame!

  34. Dan Completelyrandom Justice

    shame on you for thinking there is something wrong with the kid or the kid's dad

  35. Mark Arrowsmith

    I see a lot of "this is wrong" thinking in some of these posts. The father loves his son unconditionally, the way were suppose to love one another. It's incredibly touching. And if you do want to quote the good book, what happened to judge not lest yes be judged?

  36. Austin SemperFi Schiewe

    I can see you're a Christian and a republican, and you think there is something wrong with being gay. Get the fuck over yourself. It's the 21st century, and you think this shit still matters? I'm joining the Marine Corps when I get out of high school, and I'm willing to DIE for this beautiful country. That includes all gays, lesbians, blacks, whites, browns, etc. Get over yourself.

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