Final Fantasy XIII will release in North America and Europe in two months, but don’t expect quotations from this straight-outta-leftfield review from a Hong Kong-based magazine to make an appearance on the box. Awarding the game a 4 out of 10, the review in question has had fanboys on the ‘net gnashing and wailing, a sound I shall never grow tired of hearing.
Anyhow, here’s the mag’s breakdown of a game that Japanese gaming publication Famitsu awarded a 39/40:
Scenario: 2.0 — “An epic tear jerker”
System: 1.0 — “Such a crude system barely warrants being called an RPG at all.”
Graphics: 9.0 — “Full marks here.”
Sound: 7.0 — “Mostly quality.”
Enthusiasm: 1.0 — “As if you could play this for 100 hours! I could put up with 8.”
Total: 4.0 — “To think it got this bad…”
The write-up concludes by calling Final Fantasy XIII the “biggest swindle in gaming history” and “the biggest joke of 2009.” There is a disclaimer to this, however: the magazine admits that the review is written by a “complete non-gamer,” which … explains things somewhat.