Drunk toddler dons dress, steals gifts

Police found him sipping a beer and wearing a dress, roaming the streets in the wee hours after breaking into a neighbor’s house, drunk.

Hayden Wright, 4, was apprehended Tuesday night after the drunken spree during which he “pilfered presents” from under a neighbor’s tree and donned one, a brown dress. Wright then wandered around the neighborhood with an open beer ringing doorbells, because clearly this kid knows how to party. Police rushed the boy to the hospital, where he was treated for alcohol consumption.

Wright’s 21-year-old mother April Wright, who is in the middle of a divorce, says the boy was inspired to commit the crime by his dad:

“My biggest concern was him being out there, getting kidnapped, getting run over, the alcohol, having to have his stomach pumped.”

She added: “He runs away trying to find his father, he wants to get in trouble so he can go to jail because that’s where his daddy is.

“You can only do your best as a mother. The doors all had safety locks on them but Hayden broke one off.”

April Wright has since met with child protective services, who have allowed her to keep custody of her son.