A green vibrator, so at least you don’t feel guilty about the environment

An Irish company has found a way to mitigate at least some of the guilt associated with sex toys.

Yes, you’re still a filthy wanker or sexual deviant, but at least you don’t have to worry about the planet. The company, headed up by an Irish couple, has developed a hand-crank (ha, ha ha) vibrator that eschews environmentally unsound batteries that end up as toxic waste in landfills. The Earth Angel vibrator (warning: the marketing geniuses behind the site have not deduced that visitors may not want a large, vibrating sound emanating from their computers as they browse a sex-toy site) can run for 30 minutes after just 4 minutes of cranking. Cranking. Says co-creator Janice O’Connor:

“You just flip out the handle, grab a hold of it there, and you just wind it,” said Janice O’Connor, the co-founder with her husband Chris, of Caden Enterprises which makes the gadget.

“So for four minutes of doing that, you should generate enough power to give you 30 minutes of full-on, right-to-the top vibrations.”

The couple went to Britain to get the device produced (Ireland’s still a bit too Catholic for vibrator-making, even well-intentioned ones), and it sports 4 speeds for different levels of stimulation as well as a 100% recyclable build. So after you die and your family experiences the horror and shock of finding your porn and dildo box, you can relax knowing you won’t leave behind a legacy of a landfill full of sex toys, too.