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‘I Never Chase Boys’ Says Taylor Swift, Who Should Shut Up

i never chase boys taylor swift

“I never chase boys” is the newest, dumbest thing Taylor Swift said, and, before we get into it, let us first ask … so how’s that working out for you? (In a Dr. Phil voice.)

That Taylor Swift said “I never chase boys” in and of itself is no shock — the singer who made a name for herself writing ballads of bitterness and longing would, one might assume, be focused strongly on her love life to the extent that strategy is paramount. But for a role model to young women, on purpose or accidentally, is this really the sort of message we want to send to girls, that they’re honey traps and prey?

Swift said she will “never chase boys” when speaking to Elle, and, we will note for the record, this phrase was uttered by a 23-year-old woman. Woman. At that age I myself was a married mom of two, and the only “boys” I chased were my son, to change his diaper. That women have been infantilized to that stage is upsetting, but add to that a woman in her mid-20s is still promoting the idea women have a place and stepping out of that sanctioned zone is … ew. For sluts.

What Swift said when she said “I never chase boys” was prefaced by:

“I don’t think I’ve ever yelled at an ex-boyfriend. Ever … I’m not a yeller. I’m not a fit thrower. If something is done, it’s done.”

In slight fairness to Swift, who really should think harder about what she’s saying, the “never chase boys” part was in response to her public image — she adds:

“I’m sure if I looked up the latest Google Alerts rumor it would say I’m chasing somebody who doesn’t like me as much as I like him — people love that angle on me … They’re like ‘Oh Taylor, coming on too strong again, chasing boys.’ I never chase boys. They don’t like it!”

Harry Styles, Taylor Swift To Reunite At BRIT Awards

What Swift’s “I never chase boys” statement is also what feminists call “slut shaming.” Swift is distancing herself from perceived unattractive behavior by not only denying she engages in it, but also casting blame among “girls” (or, we assume, mid-twenties women) who do the unthinkable and actually voice grievances and honestly speak their desires to men.

The tired idea that women must sit silently and await male interest leads to all manner of terrible outcomes, not the least of which is a toxic dating culture filled with resentment — you know, the type Taylor Swift makes millions singing about.

Taylor Swift shouldn’t be saying “I don’t chase boys,” certainly not with her reach — she should be saying with the number of Grammys she has and zeros in her bank account, she chases whatever the hell she pleases.

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100 Responses to “‘I Never Chase Boys’ Says Taylor Swift, Who Should Shut Up”

  1. Bill Lapinskas

    Little hoe, never chases boys, right, shake your little ass some more, then write another song about how you dumped him.

  2. Bill Lapinskas

    Little hoe, never chases boys, right, shake your little ass some more, then write another song about how you dumped him.

  3. Kim LaCapria

    Absolutely, I agree! But I also disagree that women should be talking about "boys" then, too. We encourage women to act childishly and 23 is certainly old enough to be starting a career, making choices, and being a full-fledged, unapologetically in control woman!

  4. Cherie Erskine

    "…but add to that a woman in her mid-20s is still promoting the idea women have a place and stepping out of that sanctioned zone is … ew. For sluts."
    Isn't that reaching a bit? I hardly think that's what she was getting at and is really putting words in her mouth. I think there's something to be said for letting a man put in a little work to date you. Since when does being a strong, in control woman mean she HAS.

  5. Gary Tinsley

    anybody who's married with 2 children at 23, and one of them is moving fast enough to be chased, started cranking out kids at 18, is that the way we should be running shit? woops their legal, if they're not having kids they're wasting their life.

  6. Serena Kirby

    wow–ususally it is the media that hounds a young star into chaos. This girl is volunarily committing career suicide. What a mess. Everything I hear about her makes me like her less.

  7. Cherie Erskine

    "…but add to that a woman in her mid-20s is still promoting the idea women have a place and stepping out of that sanctioned zone is … ew. For sluts."
    Reaching a bit, don't you think? I hardly think that's what she meant and that's putting strong words into her mouth. Since when did being a strong, driven, in control woman mean chasing men? And since when did chasing boys make someone a "slut"? The only person I saw calling girls who chase boys a slut was you. She chooses not to? Fine. Someone else chooses to? Fine. I thought feminism was about a woman being able to make her own choices. Too bad technically she can but if she doesn't make the choices some other women think she should she's shamed for that. I CHOOSE to be a stay at home mom and I love it. Someone else may choose to work and if it works for them that's great. You may want to go check out a mirror, Ms. LaCapria. Your judgement is showing.

  8. Bill Lapinskas

    By 23 you learn total control i thought that happen when you girls got hair on your cookies

  9. Anonymous

    She has never found the "right guy" to chase….none worth the chase!

  10. Dan Artz

    23 and 2 kids and you're calling her a slut? LOL.. Kind of ironic isn't it mate?

  11. Dan Artz

    Bloggers these days are terrible. I'm amazed by who they give jobs to these days.

  12. Richard Merchant

    She would make a good Lesbian if you ask me. Or maybe a BiSexual….She just isn't the BOY on Girl Type she seems to be.

  13. Michael John Vis

    The author seems to be overblowing a very simple statement.. Does it sound immature? Sure. But goodness , lets not talk like these comments set women back 60 years..

  14. William Ryder

    I've find women like taylor contradictory they talk about women being treated like equal but then say things like I would never date a guy shorter than me, its just weird. witch shows that deep down they believe that women do have a place lower than men, and any women who seeks to show her self as on a mans eye level or even above it, is out of her place.

  15. Joy Kimble

    I was a young mother and in all fairness 23 is way too young to be married with children. Now I would not change having been married young, I learned alot…..BUT…I like the fact that Taylor Swift dates….ALOT. Just because she dates alot of boys does not make her a S%&*. It gives her experience, a chance to see what is right for her. When and if she does commit herself to marriage she will be ready! She will have dated and discovered who she is, not like some of us moms who married young and made lot's of mistakes. I think many of her songs call on the boys in her life to be BETTER MEN. If she was dating men, real men that had it together then she wouldn't be single. Maybe for her she isn't ready for those relationships yet and she enjoy's dating boys that are around her age. I think the fact that you are calling into question the fact that she calls them boys would imply that you think she should act older and more mature. WHAT IS THE RUSH? Let her be the young young woman that she is discovering her life. Stop rushing our youth to do things they aren't ready for. Here in America we rush our kids out of the nest at 18 and say they are adults, however they can't drink. We say they may go to War, but many don't even have driver's licenses before 18. In other cultures children are allowed to stay at home and finish school and even stay home until marriage. I have a 24 year old daughter and a 19 year old daughter and a 15 year old son. I let each go at the pace that is right for them. Maybe Taylor's pace is perfect for her right where she is in life, boys or men….let her decide.

  16. Theresa Jorge Cotty

    I tihnk that if anyone is worried about Taylor Swift being a whore…. they need something to do in their lives. Just sayin… there's PLENTY of actual factual WHORES in the big cities and elsewhere… and most def in the spotlight. I'm sure when people think of "Hollywood Whores" a couple other names come straight to mind…
    And just because someone might be married at 23 with a few kids doesn't make them 'more mature' or less whoreish… Ive known too many 'women' in my early 20s that were far from homemaker status even when married with kids..
    If Taylor is running around naked or in a bra all day every day and coming onto every single man she sees shamelessly…THEN write an article about it…otherwise, write about something more productive, like education, rainforests, polar ice caps… blades of grass..who cares.

  17. Anonymous

    Lighten up. My God, just because Swift says that She 'never chases boys' – and I doubt she needs to – isn't a slap in the face of feminism. Women have earned the right to chase, pursue, and hunt down boys/men – and even sleep with them after a ten-minute date if they choose. I seriously doubt Taylor Swift was inditing feminism like the author seems to indicate.

  18. Norhassan Ali Usman

    she is such a bitch… the fact that she has many men since her career started proves that she is a bitch… hate me if you like but I'm just stating the obvious…

  19. John Trapp

    I still say Taylor Swift is a torture device created by the US government to extract information from terrorists, but she escaped and now is torturing the public on a daily basis with that BS she calls music. Ask yourself this: Her face is constantly frozen in one expression which resembles a chipmunk. Do you honestly think she is a human being or a robot made to extremely irritate people?

  20. Nancy Young

    At her age, if she is going to defend herself, she should at least call them 'men'. Chasing boys could make her a pervert. Evidently, she doesn't see what she has done, or doesn't want to. I sure hope she will grow up soon or just get out of the public eye because I am as tired of her crap as I am of Lohan's.

  21. Raven Victoria Hirth

    Whoever wrote this article sounds pretty bitter. I'm not a "hardcore" fan or anything, never been to one of her concerts, but I disagree wholeheartedly with the content of this article and the degrading tone it's written in. Besides, have you SEEN this girl? Taylor Swift probably hasn't had to 'chase' a boy since third grade…

  22. Raven Victoria Hirth

    No, it shows that she wants a man that's going to be comfortable walking with her, even when she's wearing high-heels…

  23. Astrid Jamison

    Yes, absolutely, I would rather be yelled at than have a nasty song written about me. But there's no money in yelling, even if it is healthier and more normal–clear the air, don't stink it up with a poisonous song. And she is above yelling, that's for common, ordinary people. She is emotionally unstable at best; disturbed and a bit creepy in truth. The greatest artists are often very messed up; hope she can find a peaceful middle ground at some point without hurting too many people.

  24. Michael Vendetti

    Of course she does not chase boys, you just need to look at her and see they will chase her, even if there is a song written about them later. My wife did not believe in chasing boys either, that was thier job, and I know of a lot of women who still believe it is the mans job to ask the girl out. This does not hurt women in any way, reduce thier status in any way, the author just sounds like a bitter women.

  25. Kim LaCapria

    Agreed, although the norm in military culture and stuff. I just think women should be okay with being women who aren't afraid of men or if they get mad. 23 is old enough to have ideas and yell sometimes!

  26. Travis Stinger Williams

    This is so convoluted. Just because a young woman referred to her suitors as "boys?" I know women older than Taylor that still do. In context, it's not really even incorrect. This writer was really hard up for something to write about.

  27. Anonymous

    First, of all I want to say Ms. Swift I don't care for you or Like you in any shape form or matter.
    One day you will git old and git played out..

  28. Anonymous

    First, of all Ms. Swift I do not Care for You in any kind of shape form or matter.
    One day you will git old. And Played Out.

  29. Lacy Dare

    To be honest this article strays from the actual topic of what she says and who she is. Instead it delves into this analysis of her personality that is nothing short of conspiratorical. How can you say she puts all of this anti-feminism into one simple statement. Are you in her head? Not likely. But I have to agree the statement is pretty dumb considering she has also stated that she doesn't want to be "that girl" that dates a crap ton of guys, which she clearly does anyway. I think people just need to stop taking celebrities so seriously.

  30. Anonymous

    Leave her alone! I was married at 18…helped my hubby thru college had all my children and was married for 26yrs to a Pilot and them ran away from home at 46….I think I should have "chased boys " a bit longer…what's with calling her a S@#% or any one else who dates alot….young or old….comeon women leave the young rich lady alone….By the way I dated alot when I ran away from home…..but I didn't sleep around…as you seem to imply she is…

  31. Susan Mather Barone

    This is nit-picking at it's best, but then it's on Yahoo. lol I was told not to chase boys when I was growing up; it's actually a great thing for her to say this to young girls who look up to her. Would you rather rail against her for saying, "I always chase boys"? You know someone would. Everybody is just watching for the poor woman to mess up in some way so they can hate all over her. It's not that it makes you look "slutty" as the author thinks and it's not prehistoric or archaic either; it says you're almost desperate for attention of someone. Looking back on adolescent crushes, I can definitely say that chasing is a waste of time.

  32. Jude Orrick

    What is she 11? She refers to dating boys like she is in junior high. How about dating grown ups.

  33. Anonymous

    So Taylor is 23, beautiful and free to date whoever she wants and the writer of this article, at 23, was married with two kids and didn't get the chance to enjoy being young with little responsibility. Hmmm…I'm thinking someone's just a little jealous.

  34. Kim LaCapria

    Heh, who says moms don't have fun? 😉 I enjoyed the heck out of being 23, 25, 30 … I just don't like women telling women to be "ladylike." Go out and chase a boy if you want! Ask a guy out. Do what you want to do, and tell other women to be confident, especially if you have money and fame. We don't need more people telling us that we need to be fake and simpering.

  35. Ray Smith

    Calls Taylor Swift a slut, then goes on to say she was married with kids at 23? HAHAHA – ironic humor at it's finest, folks… take the stick out of your ass, woman. I'm nearly 30 & I still say "chicks" & "girls"… so what? Hypocritical judgemental bitch shouldn't be talking shit, when she was married with kids at twenty fucking three.

  36. Anonymous

    This the newest dumbest blog I have ever read. Apparently, the author is a boy chaser who should really shut up. first of all, no matter what cosmopolitan says… girls should never chase boys. Even a 70-yr-old woman is a girl. And yes, those who come on too string are either considered sluts or aggressive women. If there is anything a real woman/girl should learn, it is to let boys/men do the chasing. See how frustrating it is to be politically correct all the time? So what if I write songs about bitterness and love affairs gone bad? At least I never chase boys 😀

  37. Lety Rodriguez

    Dear Kim, why must like everyone else blow every ducking word a person says out of proportion. Who the fuck cares what choice Taylor swift makes in regards to,her love life. Bc I don't. What irritates me is these people whom study journalism and shift make a living reporting bullshit when there's so much more important things to actually report on. Countries are having NUCLEAR testing!!!!! Is this not important than fucking TS " I don't chase boys" statement, really? Who the fuck cares, if a woman doesn't "chase" men so what it doesn't she's sitting and waiting, and if she does it doesn't mean she's a slut either. You read too much into shit. Put your fucking degree to actual good news reporting. And make some fucking sense.

  38. Amanda Creech Knight

    I suppose her statement is all in how you interpret it. I enjoyed her statement because I took it as : She doesn't chase boys, she puts her energy into things other than finding a boyfriend – to me that is a good mark for feminism. I'd like to add one can still express themselves without upping the volume of their voice. The fact that she doesn't yell, doesn't mean she isn't expressing herself, it means that she's doing it in a much mature way.

  39. Jim Legel

    It just amazes me how people feel the need to criticize someone they don't even know!

  40. Yesi Esquivel DelaCueva

    Based on her track record, it seems she chases them away.

  41. Quanna Bee

    I'm not convinced that she doesn't chase boys. I think it was just something for her to say. If she chases boys fine, if she doesn't that is fine as well. They're her cookies and she can do whatever she pleases with them. I'm not even sure why she deemed it relevant to make the statement in the first place.

  42. Anonymous

    She's 23 and writing songs called "we are never ever getting back together". High school kids relate easiest to her lyrics. It's clear that Taylor isn't exactly in the mindset to think like a mature adult when it comes to her relationships.

  43. Jerry R Waite

    I think it's high time the tide was changed! Go Taylor! She does rock!

  44. Allen E. Booth

    No, she doesn't YELL at ex-boyfriends; she writes songs about them. Her ex-boyfriends —what seems to be an ever-expanding club— should demand a share of her royalties.

  45. Tc Dotson

    Very bitter author here.

    It makes sense and she is no doubt telling the truth. The Taylor Swifts of the world are the chased, not the chasers. It's not a 'dumb' thing to say, in fact there is a nugget of wisdom in there.

  46. Anonymous

    Kim LaCapria, I think you are working too hard on reading between the lines. Leave Taylor Swift alone. She did not mean all the things that you are trying to put into her mouth.

  47. Gary Holmes

    I love Taylor, The young lady has more class in her little finger than all you haters have in their family tree. I would be proud to be her dad. Chasing is unattractive, doesn't work, and makes you look desperate. I do not chase women either. I will open a conversation, ask them out, and initiate a relationship. I will be the first to say "I love you", if I feel it. But when one walks away, I do not follow. I wasn't always this way, I learned how futile chasing is by my second girlfriend. If you want to be with me, great, if you don't want to be with me I 'd rather walk alone for a while.

  48. Acey Stokes

    Oh yeah, she doesn't chase boys…she just writes mean-spirited "songs" about them after they break up, and makes millions lol. Now THAT is something to be proud of Taylor ;).

    Taylor and I are the same exact age- born 12/13/89….I cannot believe some of the things that come out of her mouth. I never refer to myself as a "girl" and I never refer to men as "Boys", I'm 23 YEARS OLD. She needs to grow up, and relax with the constant dating. Point is, We are the EXACT SAME AGE and she acts like I did when I was 15. She's a horrible example for young girls. I certainly don't want my daughter growing up thinking she can act like a teenager well into her 20's. I'd be absolutely ashamed if she ended up like Taylor. The girl acts all innocent and naive (she isn't), when she's made a career out of writing "songs" about ex boyfriends. VERY mature.

  49. CJ Veilleux

    Wow the person who wrote this article is a total B(itch)! I don't care for Taylor's music but I really don't view her as the "slut" type. She just has a lot of failing relationships and the reasoning is eally none of our business. I'm 23 have zero children and no wife. I'm proud of that. 23 is too young for a family.

  50. Acey Stokes

    YES!!! So glad someone finally agrees with me, lol, I've said it from day one that she resembles a rat or something. LMAO

  51. Billiee Joel

    Kim, nice (and very true) article about Taylor. Can you do me a favor? When you get a free sec can you check out later? google it if you're uncertain– its an open chatroom where you dont need a username. I want to ask you something there. Ask for Tony please

  52. Acey Stokes

    She's the passive-aggressive type, which makes her look even worse in my eyes.

  53. Peter Tudosio

    She doesn't chase them because they don'! They 'give up' and follow her into the bedroom..for a week, then they.
    become a…song! How can you call it 'relationships' when you met them 2 days after you just broke up with one and sleep with them right away? Play a little hard to get, Taylor, you'll do better!

  54. Michael Schertz

    How did you make this about feminism? Women often say they 'don't chase boys/men' proudly and the don't mean it as infantaliizing themselves or being constrained to out-dated roles, they mean they don't have to and shouldn't have to, very much they say they don't and shouldn't have to pay for dates/meals/dating. She's embracing 1/2 a paradigm and proudly. I wonder if the author or her friends paid for or pay for dates? I wonder if they walk their dates/boyfriends/husbands home at night? I wonder if they get out of the car that breaks down on the highway at night and walk 3 miles in the dark for gas/phone while their man waits safely in the car? Get over it. Men and women are different. Taylor Swit knows it. And I'd gather the author 'knows it' when it suits her as well.

  55. Anonymous

    Maybe that's her problem, playing with boys. Men don't care who she is or how many zeros are attached to her name.

  56. Marc Stratmann

    What a bitch this author is! Totally out of line and unfair! I care not for Taylo Swift and her boy troubles, but this article is just plain mean and making a humongous deal, and drawing crazy erroneous conclusions, out of nothing. Shame on you!

  57. Michael Schertz

    No Raven it is showing that she still believes in the part of the paradigm that says men should protect and provide i.e be taller and more successful/higher-social status. Which fits perfectly into her not wanting to 'chase boys'. Women who still insist in this have every right to, but not to then complain about 'outdated' gender roles. FYI I am not tall and have no issues being with a woman taller then me in high-heels.

  58. Tara Aparicio

    She said she doesn't chase boys, not that it is wrong for girls to do so. Really.I'm a feminist, but I'm also a reasonable, openminded person. And I think you are reading waaaaaaay too much into four little words that mirrored the context of the convo. 'There is a rumor that I am "chasing" a boy. I don't.' It was an innocuous statement of fact and not a comment on gender roles. Seriously. Lighten up.

  59. Tom Kidd

    Please give me a break. She has made top $$$ songwriting about her sexual conquests; and I must give her credit, excellent songs at that. But from here on in we will all be watching her as some of us did during the Grammys as the cameras pan to her from some hot male entertainer on stage and we see the look of lust in her eyes. Slut shaming? Nope! Just calling a shovel a shovel and not an extracting tool. And she is.

  60. Brian Beddow

    in all fairness, 23 is the nature's age to be making babies for both men and women. Its all the crap we stack on ourselves and the vry same infantilizing of adults that make us come to a different conclusion. At 18, we get to vote for who will lead us to hell, and men can be drafted to die for this country…and go to prison if they decide to do things they shouldn't…and enter contracts. At 21…we say they can drink in public. In some states, 17 is age of majority. When will people stop refusing to make these adults realize that they are adults?

  61. Brian Beddow

    And women should be able to allow themselves to test drive as many cars as they want before buying one…because that is who they should stick with for the long run…JUST LIKE MEN. I am no fool: you women have just as much curiosity and drive as men do. I refuse to hold a double standard.

  62. Anonymous

    There is NO, young women, singers, that should be any kind of role models for girls, now days!

  63. Anonymous

    There is NO, young women, singers, that should be any kind of role models for girls, now days!

  64. Rex Fuller

    That Naive act she is pretending to be is not going to wash. As she can say one thing but she can say she is telling the truth when actually she is lying out of her teeth. Don't believe everthing what everbody says. As some is totally bull.

  65. Paul Ekmalian

    Her last (2) "boyfriends" were 18 and indeed still boys. One was still in high school. Evidence suggests that she does chase boys. At 23 she should graduate to chasing "men" but then what would they talk about?

  66. Rex Fuller

    I am laughing if you believe what she said by her mouth she is innocent and never done that. Come on! Give me a break and not at McDonalds. She is talking on both side of her face.

  67. Rex Fuller

    Kynmar: I think she was no different then anybody else. Just because she is a star and maybe she is pretty. Doesn't mean she has not chased after someone. your over dramatizing the issue at hand. Your trying to make a stone into a Mountain here.

  68. Michael Schertz

    Just curious; if this was your son or another 23 year old man that was seen squiring out one woman after another would you be saying 'good for him he is discovering who he is' or would you be discussing his objectification of women? Would you saying he he was dating any 'real' women that had it together he wouldn't be single but since he hasn't found 'better' women he is just seeing what is right for him meanwhile?

  69. Jamie Robert

    Why The hell are we even talking about this. Everyone in the media needs to leave Taylor Swift alone. What she dose on her own time is her business not ours. Just because she is a Celebrity dot mean she don't have the right to her own privecy & personal life. We should all gettogether and start making up shit on the media just so they can find out how hard it is. Trust me they would not do it if they knew.

  70. Rick Bieniak

    My daughter likes Taylor Swift, so I happened to glance at this story. The author must not have had anything better to do that day to spend time writing a story like this. I don't really listen to her music, but Taylor Swift seems like a nice young lady and I say congratulations on her success.

  71. Jayme-Lyn Tait

    let's all just analyze the fact that she may be right in the sense that she "doesn't chase boys," and may be right that it isn't something a girl should be doing. but, writing a song and making millions off of every single break up.. like every three weeks, isn't something to be doing either. I'm sure the guys would rather be chased then mocked by a cheesy song about "never ever ever getting back together," when next week you're both back in a magazine together. all in all I think it's fair to say swift is a pathetic image for young girls to follow.

  72. Chris Greenhough

    Thanks, Dan, for such a thoughtful reply to the topic at hand. Anything non-snarky to add?

    "Swift is distancing herself from perceived unattractive behavior by not only denying she engages in it, but also casting blame among “girls” (or, we assume, mid-twenties women) who do the unthinkable and actually voice grievances and honestly speak their desires to men.

    "The tired idea that women must sit silently and await male interest leads to all manner of terrible outcomes, not the least of which is a toxic dating culture filled with resentment — you know, the type Taylor Swift makes millions singing about."


    This caveman concept that women must remain passive while the men get on with the pursuing is… ugh. The tiresome idea that a woman is somehow behaving incorrectly if she pays for dinner, or is the one to propose marriage, or hey, sleeps with four guys in a month, belongs in roughly the 1920s. But then it's all part of maintaining wider female passivity. Sit there, keep quiet, look pretty.

  73. Nathan Falk

    Maybe if she actually bothered to hold a relationship for longer than a couple months, she wouldn't be having to make these kinds of statements anyway.

  74. Christopher Brown

    Okay two things here:
    1) Swift is by no means addressing anything even close to feminism here when she says that "she doesn't chase boys." For the author of the article to think so makes me think that she is a feminist herself and, overall, a very easily offended woman. (I can't stand that one bit).
    2) Swift does chase boys…she bought a house right next to that Kennedy boy's family's house and then broke up with him. If that isn't chasing I don't know what is! Not to mention how she seems to go through guys like I go through oxygen. She is what I call a "hopeless romantic" and a "relationship addict." Sad really that such a good girl will go to waste forever chasing boys who only make her happy for a little while and then ditching them within a short amount of time. She will probably have a typical Hollywood relationship history where she has been divorced a good 3+ times by time she is 40. I don't even want to envision what happens later.

  75. Anonymous

    All she chases are boys. If she chased a real man, her life may change.

  76. Anonymous

    Swift = worthless human being…………………next loser up please! Can we move on from this one………………………and truly anyone else out there that's 'fresher to pick on'?

  77. Joy Kimble

    Michael, I was pretty explanatory that I feel each person should go at a pace that is comfortable. I know that my son would not objectify women due largely in part to the fact that he lives with three women. When he is older it is his choice to date as many women as he chooses, my job is to give him a proper foundation so that his choices are good ones. A real woman or real man to me is defined by how well they treat themselves and others, contribution to the relationships they are in and awareness of their place in life. For some reason there is an assumption that if you date a lot you must be having sex….why is that? I don't believe dating always equals sex, it's ridiculous to make that assumption.

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