Have you ever suspected your Valentine of cheating? It’s more common than you think according to a few relationship experts, one a former escort.
Rebecca Dakin, now 37, became a prostitute after leaving college and only finding low-wage jobs. Over the nine years Rebecca worked as a lady of the night, she allegedly slept with over 900 men.
Rebecca, also known as Bea, openly admits her family was aware of her “career” choice. Starting out Rebecca made £1,400 (close to $2,000 US) per meeting. She considers her insightful background, a unique perspective, useful when trying to decode why people are unfaithful and seek attention elsewhere. These days she is employed as a dating coach and “sexpert,” dolling out advice on relationships, infidelity, and sex.
In 2009 Rebecca authored a book called The Girlfriend Experience. It is a candid memoir of her experience in the escort trade. In one of the initial entries she diaries about a 75-year-old man named John, describing the “clinical” nature of his fractured marriage, and how fond of her client she is.
Rebecca bluntly shares her experience and assessment regarding infidelity:
“About 60 percent of the men I saw while I was escorting were married or had girlfriends. Men cheat for different reasons. Some may be genuinely lacking intimacy at home but others just get off on the danger element of wondering whether they’ll get caught.”
Rebecca continued, passing along a warning:
“If your man is not asking you for sex anymore, it means he’s seeking it elsewhere. He’s not going to accept being in a marriage without sex … I’m sure there are women who know that their man has been cheating but are happy because they don’t want to have sex with him anymore … They are probably relieved that he’s not hassling them and just decide to turn a blind eye. Everyone always hates the escorts but you have to remember there are women are probably quite thankful that they’re around.”
The former escort admits Valentine’s Day was her business time of year, as it is for most escorts. This was disheartening considering the majority of her clientele were married men paying for companionship on a day where they ideally should have been with their wives.
What was equally disturbing to her was how often the other woman was burdened with the lion’s share of the blame when the affairs were exposed, as though the man was not nearly as culpable to the taboo relationship. The person taking the vows are the one’s expected to remain faithful. They should be the one’s rebuffing the advances of other women, not calling them up to hotel rooms.
According to Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, relationship expert and author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin, more than 50 percent of marriages experience infidelity.
Infidelity expert, Stephany Alexander, warns February 13 is unofficially dubbed Mistress Day.
“Husbands or wives who suspect their mates of infidelity should be on the alert because cheating mates tend to meet their lovers a day or two before Valentine’s Day for a sexual tryst. Super sneaky husbands may even celebrate Valentine’s Day with their mistresses up to a week early or late when they can get away on a business trip so their lover can meet them for an extended period of time.”
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