On January 21, shortly after President Obama was sworn in as The President Of the United States, the American people received a dose of hard-hitting news: Beyonce Knowles lip-synced the national anthem.
Yes, Beyonce Knowles faked her way through the “Star Spangled Banner.” Grown men started weeping, Aretha Franklin started laughing and thousands of bright-eyed children with hopes of making it in the music business had their dreams crushed with one simple sentence: Beyonce Knowles lip-synced the National Anthem.
But a few hours later, everything was made right in the world again. The official who originally said that Beyonce had lip-synched her performance came out with another startling revelation. He had no idea what he was talking about.
Marine Corps spokesman Capt. Gregory Wolf said that the Marine Band was not “in a position to assess whether it was live or pre-recorded.”
Why did the Marine Corps change their tune? Did Beyonce hire a bunch of thugs to harass them? Did Jay-Z call up the president and ask a favor? There’s just no telling how high this thing really goes…
Here’s what we know so far.
- Beyonce may or may not have lip-synced the national anthem.
- Beyonce did pre-record a version of the song.
- It sounded really good.
- The band played live but doesn’t know if Beyonce did the same.
- Kelly Clarkson eats mushrooms to make her live performance sound better.
Ok, got it.
Now we can move on to CNN’s shocking addition to this never-ending and mind-numbing story.
An anonymous official told the news network today that Beyonce did in fact lip-sync the “Star Spangled Banner.”
The official said: “She did not sing live … Because she didn’t have time to rehearse with the Marine Band, she decided to use her recording with the Marine Band.”
There you have it. Definitive proof from an anonymous source. Beyonce Knowles lip-synced the national anthem.
Do you think Beyonce lip-synced the national anthem?” Will another anonymous source bravely step out of the shadows tomorrow to give their side of the story?