Sozopol, Bulgaria – Archaeologists for the National Historical Museum have found an ancient temple curiously dedicated to a dramatically well-hung penis god.
You laugh, but people did indeed worship this penis god. In fact, you probably know him by his given name, Priapus. He was a god in the Greek pantheon, and pretty much the patron saint of penises.
MSN reports that the ancient temple to Priapus was unearthed in the southern town of Sozopol on the Black Sea and that the archaeologists knew they were onto the penis god when they found a clay phallus with “To Priapus” inscribed on it during the dig.
This type of thing was given to Priapus by men who had problems with fertility or erectile dysfunction, reports SofiaGlobe. So, instead of popping some Viagra for a casual Saturday night with the wife, you’d get dressed and head to the penis god temple to offer a clay dildo unto Priapus on the hope that he’ll favor you and help you get closer.
It gets better. There’s a local legend about Priapus that tells of the penis god running into a donkey and getting into a dispute about who was better-endowed. The donkey bet its life in the bargain and ended up losing it (and becoming a sacrifice) because Priapus is the god of penis, and, if he can’t beat everyone at that, he’s not a very good god.
The ancient penis god temple is actually a pretty significant find too. It suggests to archaeologists that a cult of Priapus did indeed exist, but the size of which, believe it or not, has been under dispute.