White House Petitions Are Stupid, Stop Signing Them

COMMENTARY | NBC News host David Gregory has been splitting time between fawning over President Barack Obama and breaking the law on national television lately, the latter charge earning him his very own White House petition which seeks legal retribution against the Meet The Press pundit for brandishing a high-capacity gun magazine on national television this week.

Gregory was merely trying to illustrate a political point with an arresting visual aid when he produced a 30-round AR-15 gun magazine during his interview with a National Rifle Association talking head on Meet The Press last Sunday, but he may have unwittingly broken the law by having the magazine in his possession in the first place.

According to DC law, “No person in the District shall possess, sell, or transfer any large capacity ammunition feeding device regardless of whether the device is attached to a firearm.”

Whether it’s a cut-and-dried case or not, the left is once again pretending that the law doesn’t apply to their friends, and the right has practically vowed that they will not rest until Gregory is behind bars for what amounts to a trivial offense. Both reactions have inspired many an eye-roll around the water cooler here at the home office, but that’s beside the point.

The point here is that the White House petition to throw David Gregory in jail for the possession of a high-capacity gun magazine is already halfway to the “official Obama response” mark.

But I suppose the larger point involves the complete, routine abuse of the White House petition website. The service really made a national name for itself when it was used by several states to file secession petitions following the 2012 election, and has sharply gone downhill (like everything on the internet) ever since with petitions to deport Piers Morgan, and even a call to build a Death Star for the US of A’s defense program.

The secession of right-leaning states is about as stupid and childish as left-leaning celebrities who vow to move to Canada should they be forced to suffer yet another Republican president. In fact, it’s the exact same reaction. Piers Morgan is a stuffy extremist windbag, and really ought to tone it down for the sake of his health and my sanity, but he doesn’t deserve to be deported for having a freaking opinion. All things equal, a Death Star would be pretty sweet.

But the “We The People” White House petition website really only exists to show how petty its signatories can be. It’s gone down hill in a matter of months. MONTHS. It’s like a national Facebook. It’s really just become a complaint department for the US. Like any HR outfit, you rally some support, file your complaint, and it’s never brought up again. I mean seriously, President Obama hasn’t responded to any of these stupid petitions, at least not directly, so why do we bother?

“I don’t think they expected it to be used as much and as often as it is,” remarks Newsbusters of the impetus behind the “We The People” website. The real sin is that it was ever taken seriously at all. Give it up, people!

This is for you if you signed any of the above-mentioned White House petitions. Print it up and fill it out diligently. Don’t worry, I’m sending one to the government for setting up “We The People” too.

UPDATE: I’ve had a change of heart, and have decided to use the “We The People” White House petition site to create a petition to stop White House petitions. You can sign it here.