Actually not a joke: the Wii Baby Doll peripheral
On these pages alone, I’ve already written about some pretty weird Wii accessories. There was the horseback riding saddle patented by Nintendo, the Wiimote football shell, and the game that comes with its own exercise bike.
But this takes the biscuit. Actually, scratch that: this takes the whole damn biscuit factory.
Baby and Me is not the first infant-rearing title on the Wii, but it is the first game ever to ship with a baby doll peripheral. The idea is that little girls insert their Wii Remote in the back of the doll, and then listen to it “giggling, gurgling or crying through the Wii remote [speaker].” If you have a Balance Board, you can even “rock baby to sleep, burp baby, [and] teach baby to walk.”
At night, as the clocks strike one, the baby doll can often be found standing above its sleeping owner, a narrow glint of moonlight illuminating its ductile, factory-pressed face, and its empty eyes, symbolic of death itself, fixed on the little girl who never did have the time to give the attention it yearned …
Which leaves only one question: did I sleep six months running again and wake up April 1st? No. Somehow, I didn’t and this is real.