One gassy Social Security Administration employee was reported to his superiors by his colleagues for his “uncontrollable flatulence,” and was issued a federal reprimand.
MSN Now reports that the official sanction was delivered to the unlucky 38-year-old in a five-page letter that also showed a log of dates and times when he was recorded by his co-workers “releasing the awful and unpleasant odor” in his office.
So what does a federal reprimand for farting too much at work look like?
The letter says that the man’s flatulence represents “conduct unbecoming a federal officer,” and informs him that his “uncontrollable flatulence” had created an “intolerable” and “hostile” work environment for his colleagues, reports The Smoking Gun.
The man reportedly provided evidence of a medical condition which caused him to miss some work days, but his superiors responded in the federal reprimand that “nothing that you have submitted has indicated that you would have uncontrollable flatulence. It is my belief that you can control this condition.”
His flatulence is also credited as “the reason none of them were willing to assist you with your work,” meaning that this poor man is both gassy and lonely.
The manager asked the man if he could “make it to the restroom before releasing the awful and unpleasant odor,” and cautioned against an employee’s suggestion that he turn on a fan when he farts, because “turning on the fan would cause the smell to spread and worsen the air quality in the module.”
You’ll notice in the letter that the man was also criticized for unleashing a trio of biological attacks on September 11.
Here’s a redacted copy of the federal reprimand for farting too much at work. Click to enlarge: