Web searches are off the hook today for Bunny Ranch hooker Cami Parker after a racy (and racist?) Howard Stern show interview which shook my basic belief that most things between consenting adults are a-okay.

Parker is undeniably mass-produced pretty, in the way manufactured homes and brand new malls can be pretty- although even in the product pics on her Bunny Ranch page, Cami looks like uncomfortable. As if she’s smiling through some kind of low level discomfort, like a blister or vagina-sand. Cami describes her “interests” in detail on her page:

Will you help me fulfill my fantasies? Making you feel good makes me feel sooo good.

My interests include music, the theater, blowjobs, fine dining, blowjobs, traveling, museums, art galeries, expensive shoes, trying new things in bed, blow jobs, playing the blackjack tables, fulfilling your fantasies, shopping, blowjobs, making you feel like a king, laughing, writing, and blowjobs.

I went to massage school in Canada and love touching people. If you think we have any common interests, I’d love to meet you. I like girls and I can promise you the greatest time of your your life because making you feel good is what I do best.

Cami’s canned misogynist banter and dismissal of black men as “not her thing” is sadly just the kind of icky one expects out of the Bunny Ranch. Cami also admits to frequently rolling in the hay with that gross old madam Dennis Hof, who she creepily calls “Daddy.” Ew, ew ew. I know homegirl has a product to sell, but watching Cathouse just makes me wish these women could do it in a way that’s not damaging to the rest of us that have to walk around in possession of breasts on a daily basis.

Girl of your dreams? Have you got a rainy day fund? Cami Parker also told Howard Stern that she’s auctioning her “other” virginity for a mere $25,000. While I’ve always vehemently thought prostitution should be legal, sex workers like this are just a whole bowl of wrong. You can read the even more lurid details of Cami Parker’s Howard Stern interview and Bunny Ranch experiences here.