Caitlyn Jenner may be fully transitioned, but she still acknowledges the old Bruce as part of her identity.
As Jenner continues to promote her recently released memoir, The Secrets of My Life, she is revealing intimate details about her own feelings. She revealed to the Guardian in a new story that she can still feel her pre-transition identity, Bruce Jenner.
“It was hard giving old Bruce up, in a lot of ways. He still lives inside me,” says Caitlyn. “I still do a lot of the things old Bruce used to do. I still fly airplanes and go race cars once in a while. I can have the best of both worlds.”
While Caitlyn is now fully herself, having undergone gender confirmation surgery earlier this year, she isn’t completely leaving Bruce behind.
“I can live my life authentically, and still do all the fun stuff!” she says.
Before coming out as transgender, Caitlyn accomplished many things as Bruce, including becoming a sports icon through winning gold at the Olympics and raising a family. She admits that she doesn’t mind when she is referred to as Bruce, considering the life she led up to this point.
“I had a life for 65 years. OK? I liked Bruce. He was a good person. He did a lot in his life. Oh, ‘he didn’t even exist’. Yes he did exist! He worked his butt off. He won the [Olympic] Games. He raised amazing kids. He did a lot of very, very good things and it’s not like I just want to throw that away.”
Caitlyn revealed to the world in April 2015 that she was trans, after years of struggling with her identity. What followed was a flurry of media attention, including a memorable Vanity Fair cover in which she debuted Caitlyn Jenner to a world who always knew her as Bruce Jenner. She also received her own E! reality show, I Am Cait, in which she explored the many changes in her life in the months following her coming out.
The Guardian points out that there were some critics who doubted the validity of Caitlyn’s big proclamation and even suggested she did it for attention. Caitlyn quickly dismisses such accusations.
Oh, I don’t care about that stuff! I just don’t care about another show. It didn’t even cross my mind. My intentions were number one, to calm my soul. To deal with this issue and be myself. This woman had lived inside me for 65 years, it’s time for her to live! Let’s give her a shot and see what she could do. Bruce has done everything! Had all his children, won the Games. This woman – it’s her turn! And that platform I have: can I make a difference in the world?”
Asked whether some part of her wanted to upstage ex-wife Kris Jenner, Caitlyn again dismisses the whole idea.
“Upstage her? No. I just wanted to be me,” Caitlyn says. “Kris is a good person – we’ve had our differences, especially now – but she saved my life in so many ways, she turned my life around.”
Caitlyn’s book, The Secrets of My Life, is turning into a bestseller already. As seen in an Instagram video on Caitlyn’s page, the hardcover book made it to no. 8 on The New York Times Best Sellers list, while on the Combined Print & E-Book list it was at no. 4. In the video, Caitlyn is very happy by this news.
“Yeah baby, we’re selling!” she exclaims. “I love that. You know, it makes me feel good, because I want it in the hands of people, I want them to read this story.”
[Featured Image by Taylor Jewell/Invision/AP Photo]