Sex “moves” are an age-old pastime, and they are generally just meant as ways for adventurous men and women to keep things interesting in the bedroom. But “stealthing,” a sex move that entails the penetrating male covertly slipping off his condom during sex and which a recent study shows is on the rise all around America, is much more dangerous. Stealthing can and will increase the likelihood of unwanted pregnancies and the spread of STIs. In fact, stealthing is technically considered rape for a little-known reason.
— Dr. Daliah (@DrDaliah) April 25, 2017
The in-depth study looking at stealthing is titled “Rape-Adjacent,” reported Huffington Post, and it was published several days ago in the Columbia Journal of Gender and Law. It seeks out many of the sites that have popped up during the past few years encouraging men to engage in the practice of stealthing. On such sites, stealthing enthusiasts attempt to justify stealthing to one another by claiming “spreading his seed” is a man’s right.
“It’s a man’s instinct to shoot his load into a woman’s *****. He should never be denied that right,” wrote one stealthing advocate.
“Oh I completely agree with this. To me you can’t have one and not the other,” added another, referring to the initial sex act (even when it is agreed upon that the man will use protection) and the actual deliverance of ejaculate that proceeds stealthing.
“Yes, they deserve it,” added a third pro-stealthing contributor.
“Yes!” another wrote succinctly.
Most of these stealthing fanatics are men, but sometimes women participate as well.
“As a woman, it’s my duty to spread my legs and let a man shoot his load into my wet ***** whenever he wants,” one supposedly female stealthing enthusiast writes.
The study also seeks out many women who have fallen victim to stealthing in the past and monitors their feelings about the act.
One stealthing victim noted that what made her the most uncomfortable was that the person with whom she had placed such trust by consenting to protected sex had gone behind her back with such malice of forethought.
“It was that it was such a blatant violation of what we’d agreed to. I set a boundary. I was very explicit.”
Alexandra Brodsky, author of the study, notes that many of the stealthing victims interviewed for the study felt similarly deceived, but they did not think to contact authorities about the incident because they did not think stealthing, however despicable, technically violated any laws.
“Their stories often start the same way: ‘I’m not sure this is rape, but…'” Brodsky notes.
The study makes it very clear to both the reader and the victims, though, that, no matter how it may seem, stealthing is indeed a form of non-consensual sex and, therefore, rape.
During a case earlier this year where a Swiss man was convicted of rape for engaging in stealthing, Dr. Sinead Ring of the University of Kent explained that the act is a dismissal of “conditional consent,” in which the specific criteria that led up to the sexual consent were violated. This is just as serious as failing to attain consent at all, and it makes stealthing as terrible a crime for a man as forcing himself upon someone.
“Just because someone consents to sex with a condom does not mean they are consenting to sex without a condom,” writes Teen Vogue in a piece on the crime that is stealthing. “It is so important to know that consent is not a one-time transaction; enthusiastic consent should be clear throughout every step of a sexual encounter.”
Obviously, stealthing is an extremely dangerous trend and has to stop. Luckily, studies like Brodsky’s and the very deserved buzz going around the internet right now about how stealthing is indeed rape will likely deter men from engaging in the practice in the future. Of course, it will not bring a complete and total end to stealthing, but hopefully it will increase the chances that anyone who falls victim to stealthing or knows someone who was involved in stealthing will contact authorities about sexual assault.
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