Selena Gomez is on the cover for Vogue’s April, 2017, issue. In the issue, she opened up about her depression and anxiety attacks that took place during her Revival World tour. The symptoms of her autoimmune disorder, lupus, were so bad that she had to cancel the tour and take time off to maintain her “health and happiness.”
Gomez secretly entered a 90-day stay at Brookhaven Retreat in Seymour, Tennessee. There, she learned how to deal with her mental health issues in a quiet and woodsy area with a group of young women who didn’t care that she was the Selena Gomez. She even left her phone at home and lost all contact with people in her Hollywood circle.
“You have no idea how incredible it felt just to be with six girls,” she said, “real people who couldn’t give two s***s about who I was, who were fighting for their lives. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done, but it was the best thing I’ve done.”
Selena has been in the public eye for her high-profile relationships and career. In August, 2016, she said she checked into rehab to deal with her “anxiety, panic attacks and depression” that pushed her over the edge while on tour. Sources revealed in the new issue of Life & Style magazine that the singer’s partying and drinking was so bad that it exacerbated her issues. Selena supposedly told friends that she would not be here right not if she did not have her rehab stint.
“Selena admits to her closest friends that she was a total mess before rehab. She knows she might not have made it, whether it be from exhaustion, the partying, drinking, or all three. She knows it saved her life.”
Her rehab stint came at the worst time in her life. Gomez was riding high off the success of her music career. She was topping the charts with her singles, “Good For You,” “Same Old Love,” and “Kill ‘Em With Kindness.” Not only was Gomez on tour, but she was collaborating on her tour merchandise and clothing line. Still, she felt like what she was doing wasn’t enough. Gomez didn’t see herself as the superstar that her fans do to this day.
“My self-esteem was shot,” she told Vogue. “I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically I felt I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable.”
Sources said that one of Selena’s biggest addictions is Justin Bieber. Her second addiction was Instagram, which she removed from her phone.
“She was constantly looking up Justin on Twitter and Instagram,” a source told Life & Style. “It became an unhealthy obsession that only made her feel worse.”
Fans started noticing that Gomez was liking some of Bieber’s posts. She also ranted when he was linked to Nicole Richie’s younger sister, Sophia Richie. She finally realized how unhealthy her relationship with social media was.
“It had become so consuming to me. It’s what I woke up to and went to sleep to. I was an addict, and it felt like I was seeing things I didn’t want to see, like it was putting things in my head that I didn’t want to care about. I always end up feeling like s*** when I look at Instagram. Which is why I’m kind of under the radar, ghosting a bit.”
She hardly uses Instagram these days. Selena told Vogue that she no longer has the app on her phone, and doesn’t have access to her account. Her assistant manages her accounts and plans her posts for her. Selena said she can’t wait for the day when she doesn’t have to use social media again. She also wishes that the public would forget about her and her relationships.
Gomez credits Dialectical Cognitive Therapy, which consists of individual therapy, group therapy, and equine therapy for helping her deal with her mental health.
“DBT has completely changed my life. I wish more people would talk about therapy. We girls, we’re taught to be almost too resilient, to be strong and sexy and cool and laid-back, the girl who’s down. We also need to feel allowed to fall apart.”
She still sees a therapist five times a week and practices the therapy at home. Selena refuses to go out and party. Instead, she will attend church, go on road trips, or hang out at home.
She makes healthy and mindful practices a part of her daily routine. Working out and going to bed early has also helped improve her life.
“She made it through such a difficult time and now she tells friends how she journals a daily list of things she appreciates,” the insider said. “She lights candles and incense and meditates.”
Selena Gomez now has two rehab stints behind her. Her first was in 2014 at Arizona’s Meadows Facility in the middle of her Stars Dance World Tour. Now, Gomez wants to continue to focus on herself and her career.
[Featured Image by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for iHeartMedia]