National Pizza Day 2017 is finally here, as noted by WCMH. But this annual national ravenous obsession with a free slice of pizza isn’t unique, or even unusual. In fact, there are also more specific National Cheese Pizza and National Sausage Pizza Days in 2017. The United States has a national day of virtually everything, so much so that today is also National Bagel Day and National Toothache Day. Yes, toothache.
Obviously, there’s a big difference between an official national day of commemoration established by the government to recognize some important event or person – like Columbus Day – and the less official ones created by private citizens or businesses. Think about it. Would there really be a Father’s Day if greeting card companies didn’t want one? Come on; you know the answer to that one.
As the History Channel notes, a national “day” like Father’s Day or Mother’s Day might seem reasonable enough despite the crass commercialism and marketing that blackmails people into buying their parents standardized sentiments through manufactured cards.
And some national days like May 4th’s National Star Wars Day – “may the 4th be with you” never gets old – at least have the virtue of being related to a popular cultural phenomenon. But unlike this day or National Pizza Day 2017, others can have you asking, “Is that really a thing?”
National Periodic Table Day
Remember when your science teacher crammed the periodic table into your head so you could pass your SATs. The torment of having to remember the symbols for argon or titanium should have ended after that – unless you became a chemist – but in 2016 the decision was made to establish National Periodic Table Day throughout the land. What’s next, Square Root Day? Actually, that’s May 4.
National Caesar Salad Day
For those who want to avoid the calories of National Pizza Day, 2017 also offers up National Caesar Salad Day. On the other hand, since National Caesar Salad Day takes place on July 4 and coincides with National Barbecued Spareribs Day – the vinegar-based sauces are awesome – dieting still may not be an option.
National Grab Some Nuts Day
No, it’s not that. National Grab Some Nuts Day 2017 – not to be confused with National Nuts Day, which is entirely different – is intended to promote the sale and consumption of pistachios, pecans and macadamia nuts, not to encourage inappropriate sexual behavior against total strangers. Get your mind out of the gutter.
National Ampersand Day
If you’re annoyed at having to type out the word “and” on a regular basis – and who isn’t really? – then National Ampersand Day is the day for you. Established in 2015, the goal of National Ampersand Day is apparently to encourage you to use so many ampersands on September 8 of 2017 that no one knows what you’re talking about in your tweets and emails. Is National Pizza Day 2017 sounding pretty good now?
National Hermit Day
Yes, hermits – by definition – want to live alone and away from the society that spawned their antisocial existence. But despite their standoffishness from the rest of us, we’ve established October 29 of 2017 as National Hermit Day so they can be celebrated by the society they scorn. Presumably, on this day, Hermits United and the National Hermits League will assemble for the annual Ignore You Games and accompanying barn dance.
So as people across the country are spending National Pizza Day 2017 searching for free pizza slices and discount pizza coupons, they should consider the fact that there is always tomorrow and that tomorrow will bring yet another meaningless national day of – fill in the blank – for them to either appreciate or ignore.
[Featured Image by Joe Raedle/Getty Images]