28 Funny Tweets That Perfectly Describe Raising A Toddler
Toddlers. You can’t live with them, you can’t live without them. Parents often describe them as “terrible twos” and “threenagers.” Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of raising a child would agree there are days where watching a toddler is easily more entertaining than television.
According to Baby Center, most find what tends to make a child happy to be a little surprising. And anyone who has raised a child would agree that statement couldn’t be truer. Stop and think about it for a moment: have you ever found yourself watching your toddler cracking up at something while having absolutely no idea why they find said thing so funny?
Per Parents, the key to having a well-behaved child is letting your child learn to control his or her own behavior. This means you give your child a chance to explore the world – learning what is wrong and right along the way with your guidance. And as your toddler is exploring the world? Well, they tend to do some hilarious things.
In fact, here are some funny tweets that perfectly describe raising a toddler.
1.) Sometimes when a toddler tries to help… They only tend to make things worse.
The 3yo insisted on helping me put all the laundry away. It's only taken us 6 hours & 10 minutes & apparently pants go in the fridge now.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) May 11, 2015
2.) Having a toddler means never getting enough sleep.
Why do toddlers have to take an afternoon nap when it's the adults who are struggling to keep their eyes open.
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) July 27, 2015
3.) Having a toddler means never going to the bathroom by yourself.
Me: I'm goin 2 bathroom
Toddlr: I'm coming too
Me:I need privacy
Toddlr:I need privacy too
Me:OK whatever!#ToddlerLife #parenting— InThePresent Mommy (@inthepresentmom) January 9, 2017
4. Toddlers crave independence, even if they still need your help.
Hell hath no fury like a toddler wants to "do it herself."
Three hours later, I'm still waiting for her to get out of the car.
— Ponies and Martinis (@PonyMartini) November 17, 2015
5.) They can even be threatening when they want to be.
"And I'm going to live with you forever and ever"
~Toddler threats
— AussieAnnie (@MummaCrazy) July 7, 2015
6.) They tend to take arts and crafts to the next level.
3yo (in bathroom): Mummy, can I put this sticker on Daddy's card?
Me (in bed): Yes.
3yo: Will he love it?
Me: Yes. pic.twitter.com/TJepUORQwH— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) June 21, 2015
7.) Toddlers will talk to just about anything.
She's been talking into the vent for a while
At first I thought it was cute
Now I'm afraid someone is talking back pic.twitter.com/uhibpE7tL8
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 11, 2016
8.) Toddlers are not always the best at fixing things.
9.) Despite being so small, toddlers are capable of making huge messes.
Before I had kids, I didn't even know it was possible to destroy an entire house with a granola bar.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 3, 2014
10.) Toddlers tend to be cranky when they don’t get sleep. The problem? It is usually their fault they didn’t sleep in the first place.
When she's an adult I'm going to get her up at 3 a.m. and then act pissed off all day. It's going to be sweet! pic.twitter.com/vx246ituOl
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) July 10, 2016
11.) Sometimes toddlers are so smart it is a little terrifying.
I told my toddler to sit on the training potty.
I came upstairs to find this
She outsourced going to the bathroom. pic.twitter.com/S97ua21kTB
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 13, 2016
12.) Your toddler tends to be your dog’s best friend because it means loads of table scraps.
Thank God for dogs, that's all I'm sayin' right now. #toddlerlife pic.twitter.com/9xedYYmomQ
— Christine Fields (@treehugger0013) January 8, 2017
13.) Few things are more difficult than trying to put a toddler to bed.
I didn't even know you could feel every single emotion in a 20 minute span until I put a toddler to bed.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 14, 2014
14.) Few things scream louder than an unhappy toddler.
Apparently a 2 year old getting her hair washed and an exorcism sound oddly similar.
— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) March 30, 2014
15.) Everything is the end of the world for a toddler.
No one exaggerates a situation quite like a toddler who just broke their cookie.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) May 5, 2016
16.) Chances are pretty good everyone with a toddler has wished this at least once.
If only we could harness the renewable energy of toddler tantrums.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) March 6, 2014
17.) Few things are more terrifying than the thought of your toddler waking up just as you fall asleep.
Growing up I used to be afraid of the dark but now I am afraid of hearing my toddler wake up in the middle of the night.
— Tired Working Mom (@WorkingMom86) February 11, 2016
18.) Looking away from a toddler is always a mistake.
A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.
— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) May 12, 2016
19.) The things a toddler can do never ceases to amaze parents.
I was just enviously admiring the energy and flexibility of a 3yo and then he kneed himself in the face.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) April 27, 2016
20.) There are even times where toddlers are a little mean.
Me: *sings along to radio*
3yo: why don't you let it sing all by itself?— Melissa McCartney (@ToastyGiraffe) November 26, 2016
21.) At times, the logic of a toddler can be a little flawed.
Made my 3yo a cheese sandwich which he refused because "the cheesy part is yucky."
His lunch request? A cheese stick.
*Pours wine*
— MaryWiddicks (@MaryWiddicks) August 25, 2016
22.) Toddlers have super hearing.
Fact: A 3 year old can hear a candy wrapper being opened from up to 300 miles away.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 8, 2014
23.) Toddlers find the strangest things to be upsetting.
To anyone out there thinking about having kids, today my 2 year old threw a temper tantrum because she couldn’t get rid of her shadow.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 23, 2013
24.) At times, it is the innocence of a toddler that makes for a funny tweet.
[At dinner]
Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat?
Me: Probably like 90%
D: So it's 10% balls?
Me: *spits out food*— Tim (@Playing_Dad) January 3, 2016
25.) As this funny tweet reminds us, toddlers tend to take a long longer to do something than what is considered normal.
Sorry we're late. My daughter was eating each individual Cheerio like it was a mini doughnut.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) November 30, 2015
26.) Toddlers also tend to be very good at winning an argument, as this tweet reminds us.
Was arguing with my 2 y/o for 30 minutes about why he needs to wear his pants and now we're both sitting in our underwear eating donuts
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) October 13, 2013
27.) Toddlers are incredibly picky and not giving them what they want means war.
Hell hath no fury like a 4 year old whose sandwich has been cut into squares when he wanted triangles.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 23, 2014
28.) Toddlers also tend to be very sarcastic.
3-year-old: Can we have a birthday cake?
Me: It's not your birthday.
3: The cake won't know.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 25, 2016
Part of the reason why toddlers are so entertaining and funny is because of how much they learn at that age. According to the ABC Learning Center, the average toddler learns five new words every day. The average toddler also tends to have better hearing than an adult. Hence their ability to hear you unwrapping a candy bar from another room, as one of the tweets mentioned. And you know how one of these funny toddler tweets mentioned wanting to bottle up their toddler’s energy? Well, the average toddler takes 176 steps a minute. Just imagine how fit you would be if you had the energy of a toddler!
Have you read any funny toddler tweets lately? If so, please be sure to share those tweets with us in the comments section found down below! Don’t forget to tell us which of these funny toddler tweets was your favorite!
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