Who’s The Best Marvel Superhero To Go Drinking With On A Big Night Out?
There’s a lot of diverse characters in the Marvel movie universe but which one would be the best drinking buddy to have a big night out with?
It’s a strange question, but’s it’s the season for strange questions, so why not?
Admittedly, superheroes do a lot of things, but binge drinking isn’t usually one of them. Yet if you fancied painting the town red and setting the night on fire with a Marvel character, which one could you rely on to keep the liquor flowing and the mood just right?
Iron Man
At first glance, Tony Stark would make the perfect partner in crime for a boozy night on the tiles. He’s naturally charismatic, effortlessly witty, and he’s got the money to keep the champagne corks flying.
His reputation as a ladies man would also make for an interesting night. The only problem is, he’s an alcoholic. Or at least he becomes one in the comic books. His battle with booze is well documented in Stan Lee’s Demon in a Bottle storyline.
So unless you want to end the night with a frothing at the mouth, wild-eyed, and raging wino, spitting insanity and blue murder in your face, you’d better cross Tony Stark off your list.
Spiderman
Let’s be honest, Peter Parker doesn’t look like the type who can hold his drink well. After a couple of Malibu’s, he’d probably collapse into a self-loathing, needy, paranoid, and all-around emotional wreck.
He’d also bend your ear all night about his pathetically poor love life and the identity issues involved with dressing up in a strange costume and pretending to be a spider. And that my friend is no fun for anyone when they’re trying to get rat-faced.
I think it’s best you give this web-headed wonder a miss if you want your night out with the boys to go with a bang.
The Hulk
There’s a slim chance that the stoic and troubled Bruce Banner might lighten up after a few pints of brown but I wouldn’t bank on it.
The chances are the old demon alcohol would have a negative effect on the good doctor and in the blink of an eye he’d turn into one of those seething whirlwinds of anger, fear, and destruction that stalk the streets of our cities and towns every Friday and Saturday night.
The only difference is old Brucey boy would turn green and you would know him as the Hulk. I think it’s best to leave this lad brooding at home and waiting for the telephone to ring, because as Banner himself would no doubt say in a more sober mood, “Best not to get me pi**ed, you won’t like me when I’m pi**ed.”
Wolverine
Potentially, old Logan could be the life and soul of any party if he’d just cheer up a bit and knock a few boilermakers on the head, but you always run the risk with this mean and moody guy that at some point during the night the claws would come out.
Wolverine’s catchphrase of, “I’m the best there is at what I do, but what I do best isn’t very nice,” sums the old dog up.
At some point during the course of the evening, this angry and unstoppable force of nature is going to take offense at something or somebody and if you’re not careful you could end up getting caught in the thick of it.
Logan’s the type of dude who does his drinking alone and you’ve got to respect that, or it’s likely you’ll end up in prison or dead, or perhaps both.
Thor
Being a hammer-wielding, thunder god is thirsty work, and you just know they party hard in Asgard. The fact that Thor dresses and talks like someone who’s half cut most of the time sort of gives the game away. This Norse god loves his ale and as such is the only superhero on the list who appreciates the importance of a proper night out.
The only downside of hitting the pubs with Thor is you just know he’s the sort to constantly challenge you to arm wrestling competitions and hug you a lot in spontaneous and drunken displays of affection. He’ll probably talk about fighting a lot too, but the bottom line is if you want a superhero to get absolutely hammered with, then Thor is your man, or god, as the case may be.
[Featured Image by Ben Horton/Getty Images for Madame Tussauds Hollywood]
