The man who put Ashton Kutcher on stage claims the Valley shouldn’t be like Hollywood


I promised myself I’d stop taking shots at Techcrunch, it’s not healthy and I’ve moved on, but as I choked on my breakfast this morning I’ve decided to relent, because the man who put Ashton Kutcher on stage at what was suppose to be a serious tech conference is now asking that Silicon Valley doesn’t become like Hollywood.

You can’t make this stuff up: my old boss Michael Arrington is not only rallying against Hollywood (as he pisses his pants in excitement over Penn and Teller doing TechCrunch 50 next week), but he’s actually written that he doesn’t want people to pitch him. Did I say already that I’m not making this up?

But like a poorly written business plan, or should I say declaring TechCrunch 50 sold out when your third party ticket outlet was still selling tickets based on your own availability data, Arrington plays the I’m god card, saying ” As Silicon Valley gets bigger, with more strangers, it actually becomes harder to reach the power structure that can make your startup go from a business plan to reality.” Does that make Arrington the Catholic Church?

You see, you should only ever pitch TechCrunch if you have a startup at exactly 1.457944569879458 into its development cycle. Pitching outside of that stage of your development means you want to paint Michael’s house… or something.

People regularly tell me that they miss the old TechCrunch, and despite what Arrington may think I still defend the site to some degree: the market has changed, and TechCrunch has changed with it. But when Michael Arrington writes a post that basically tells people who want to pitch him to fuck off, and that the Valley is turning into Hollywood despite he himself suckling the celebrity teet at the second its dangled in front of him, the plot is lost and TechCrunch has passed from great site to a self imposed cess pool powered on nothing more than Michael’s ego.

Farewell TechCrunch, we loved you so.

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