In New Autobiography, Bruce Springsteen Reveals The Intimate And Explosive Details Of His Love Life


In Bruce Springsteen’s highly anticipated new autobiography, Born to Run, Springsteen reveals how he got into music, his relationship with the E. Street Band, his legendary music, his relationship with his “pop” and his complicated relationship with women. Many of his songs like “Rosalita” and “I’m On Fire” reveal a romanticism that made Springsteen so desirable. Yet, his relationships remained complicated for years. In his memoir, Springsteen reveals that the first woman he married did something he could not forgive, while after some self searching, he discovered that the woman that he really loved was right there all along. This woman turned out to be Jersey girl Patti Scialfa. How did this story go?

Before he could find happiness, Springsteen admits that he had to overcome his own demons. In reflecting on his marriage to Julianne Phillips, The Boss admits that he hurt anyone that loved him. He would push them away and they would pay for loving him.

“There was a part of me, a significant part, that was capable of great carelessness and emotional cruelty. That wanted to wound and hurt and make sure those who loved me paid for it.”

Ultimately, the woman who paid for it was his wife Julianne Phillips. Springsteen admitted that she made the biggest mistake. She fell in love with him. And Springsteen could never forgive her for making that mistake. How did he get to this point?

Early in his career, Springsteen confessed he was too consumed by his music to really get involved in a serious relationship. When he became more popular, he had an infamous tumultuous relationship with famed rock photographer Lynn Goldsmith. After they split, she still showed up to one of his concerts, and he infamously jumped from the stage to personally stop her from taking photos and had her removed from the venue. It wasn’t much later that he met Patti Scialfa, still a few years before his incredible success.

Patti was the the type of tough Jersey girl Bruce was accustomed to. The first time he met her was at the New Jersey bar called The Stone Pony, performing with pal Bobby Bandier. Springsteen was immediately interested in her and quickly introduced himself. Soon, they were hanging out. When it came time for the Born In The USA Tour, she joined the band as a backup singer. Onstage, they were flirty, singing duets and sending out a very steamy vibe. Most people assumed that they were a couple and then they were not. That was when he met Julianne Phillips.

According to the New York Daily News, Springsteen met the model and actress through Springsteen’s tour agent Barry Bell. By this time, Springsteen was a huge MTV sensation, with Born in the USA both a hit on the radio along with achieving huge record sales. His “Dancing In the Dark” music video where Springsteen pulled a young Courtney Cox on stage to dance was an instant MTV video music classic. Although Springsteen had a fling with backup singer Patti Scialfa, he was still a single guy. Bell really thought that Julianne would be a good match for Bruce and invited her backstage to meet The Boss.

“I knew people who knew a lot of actors, so I got to know Julianne. I brought her to a show, introduced her to Bruce. I figured she’d be right for him because she was very down to earth. And the rest is history.”

Soon, Phillips became a backstage mainstay. After a whirlwind eight-month courtship the couple surprised everyone and secretly married in Phillips’ home town of Lake Oswego, Oregon on May 13, 1985. While Springsteen’s bandmates really liked Phillips, they felt that Bruce was not the same person he was prior to meeting her. He was striving to become something that he was not. Roy Bittan, keyboardist for the band, and his wife went out with the couple and he instantly saw some problems.

“Juli was a lovely girl, but he just seemed like he was trying to be a different person. I think he was trying to develop a way of being on a social level. And Julianne wasn’t anywhere on his train of thought.”

After they married, Bruce was off the grind of touring, so he was around home and working on songs for the Tunnel of Love album. Soon, the relationship began to fall apart. Reflecting back on this time, Springsteen admits that he had been avoiding so many of the issues that ultimately made this relationship complicated. He now found himself faced with the very internal issues that he had avoided for years. When the album was released, he dedicated it to his new bride with “Thanks Juli.”

“The emotions of mine that were uncovered by trying to have adult life with a partner and make that work uncovered a lot of things I’d avoided and tried not to deal with previously.”

It was when the Tunnel of Love tour commenced that the relationship imploded. Insiders noted that Springsteen no longer wore his wedding ring. Scialfa returned as back up singer and the onstage chemistry between Scialfa and Springsteen was red hot. Rock journalist Dave Marsh tactfully stated the obvious. Scialfa and Springsteen were a couple.

“What was obvious on the Tunnel tour was also obvious at an early point in the Born in the U.S.A. tour, let’s just say that.”

Phillips was completely unaware that this was going on. According to Springsteen, they were separated, but Springsteen admitted that he totally let Phillips down by his actions and not telling her that he had moved on with Patti.

“I didn’t protect Juli. Some sort of public announcement would have been fair, but I felt overly concerned about my own privacy. I handled it badly, and I still feel badly about it. It was cruel for people to find out the way they did.”

Friends of Phillips were not so kind. Speaking to People, one friend stated that Phillips life was shattered. She felt her three-year relationship with Springsteen never actually existed.

“Julianne’s just had her whole life blown apart. With Bruce behaving like this, she feels she’s been living in a fantasy for three years.”

The Guardian reports that Springsteen writes that his issues with his father and women are so intertwined that Springsteen blames his “personality traits inherited by his dad” as the root of his problems with women. Looking back on his relationship with women, Springsteen can now see that his father, shared some of the very same personality traits that pushed away love from anyone. Bruce’s father pushed him away. In Bruce’s case, he was pushing away women.

“A misogyny grown from the fear of all the dangerous, beautiful, strong women in our lives crossed with the carrying of an underlying physical threat, a psychological bullying that is meant to frighten and communicate that the dark thing in you is barely restrained. You use it to intimidate those you love … I can’t lay it all at my pop’s feet; plenty of it is my own weakness and inability at this late date to put it all away.”

Now, Springsteen credits Scialfa for helping him overcome depression and accept love. They have three children and have just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.

What about his first wife? Since the show Sisters ended, Phillips has been out of the public eye. She does not appear to have ever remarried, nor has she had any sort of family. She has never spoken of their breakup except to philosophically state that this difficult breakup offered her an opportunity for personal growth.

“I have always been incredibly private when it comes to my private life. The one and only thing I will say is that the period was a time of incredible growth and introspection for me. And I will forever give that credit to Bruce.”

Are you planning on reading Bruce’s new autobiography?

[Featured Image by Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images]

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