Justin Bieber, Slow Your Roll: The Biebs Is Better Slowed Down


Have you ever heard Justin Bieber’s music slowed way, way down? Slow Biebs? What were you up to in 2010? OK, well, there was this meme going around back then that slowed down Justin Bieber. Well, actually, it made one of his songs slow — I guess it didn’t actually slow down the man himself. But it made his old song, “U Smile,” slower by about 800 percent. It was totally amazing, a stunning display of advanced digital audio technology.

Do you think Selena Gomez heard this Justin Bieber slow jam? Do you think that he, the Biebs, heard it? Did you ever hear it? If not, take a listen below. Even if you did hear it back then, go ahead and refresh your memory with some slow Justin Bieber. There you go. Listen to the slow, slow Biebs.

What did you think of that? It’s like the best post-rock band I’ve never heard. It sounds better than Explosions in the Sky. It sounds like what I would imagine being inside of a supernova would sound like. (If a human or a microphone could survive such an interstellar burst, because neither myself nor any audio transducer could survive that. Right? I don’t know. I’m not a scientist over here.)

That celestial Justin Bieber slow jam was made by a guy named Nick Pittsinger. He gained massive meme fame for that thing. He was meme royalty. He was even interviewed by Entertainment Weekly. Here’s what he told them.

“I’m a producer, so I just like to mess around with audio. It was a joke, and now it’s this meme, this phenomenon.”

Poignant. That dude captured the zeitgeist with slow Biebs. He was a meme king, at least for a time.

Here is Justin Bieber at an awards show. [Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images]

I wonder what that Nick guy is up to now, because I want to hear more slow Justin Bieber. I tried to find some newer Justin Bieber slow grooves online. I did find some more recent slow Bieber stuff, but not slowed down to the extreme degree of the 2010 slow Biebs meme. Man, that thing was amazing. Did you listen to it yet? That thing was meme supreme. It even has a Know Your Meme page.

So, here’s what I just found. It’s Justin’s “Sorry,” but slow. It is slowed down, but it’s not way, way, way slowed down, like I wanted it to be. It just makes him sound like Barry White or something.

What did you think of that Justin Bieber song? Are you a Justin Beiber fan? I’ve gotta say, I’ve never quite considered myself a “Belieber.” (Is that what they’re called?) Whatever, though, he’s made his way. Justin Bieber is on top of the world. The guy can do anything he wants. Wasn’t he discovered by Usher? I’m not sure. Regardless, I think Nick Pittsinger and Justin Bieber should hook up and record a whole album of this really slowed-down stuff. It would be so awesome. I would buy that on iTunes.

Below is an Instagram of Justin Bieber. I tried to find an actual, official Justin Bieber Instagram post, but I couldn’t find his Instagram. Did he take it down or something? Just kidding. I’m not that clueless, I know he took it down. Right? That was the last I’d heard, anyway. Were you following Justin Bieber on Instagram? Are you sad that he’s not on there anymore? Is he still with Selena Gomez?

So, anyway, I apologize for resurrecting this Justin Bieber meme. I just really wanted you to hear it, because, I don’t know, you may have been 6-years-old in 2010. Maybe you didn’t appreciate experimental, post-rock, slowed-down Biebs jams back then. I really don’t know.

[Photo by Lars Baron/Getty Images]

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