Apple’s Sexy New iPhone Beats Pornhub For Attention

Apple’s sexy new iPhone 7 may just be the hottest product on the planet. Pornhub published traffic analytics for yesterday, and the numbers were surprising.

Visitor counts on the adult entertainment site were running at about 2 percent below averages but were steady for most of the day. However, according to Pornhub Insights, traffic took a huge hit when Apple’s keynote began, and it did not return to normal levels until the event was over.

Is the sexy new iPhone hotter than adult entertainment, or was it just a coincidence?

Pornhub touts itself as “the world’s biggest porn site” and is one of the few that is mobile-friendly. It has a team that analyzes website traffic on numerous metrics including visits from specific browsers and devices. The team reports its findings in a “safe-for-work” (SFW) section of the site called Pornhub Insights.

Insights stated that “Apple iPhones and iPads account for over 35% of Pornhub’s 60 million daily visitors.”

When Apple’s CEO, Tim Cook, took to the stage to introduce the iPhone 7, Pornhub’s viewership dropped to 9.5 percent below average. The adult website claims that the dip in visitors during the keynote was because the event was streamed live on Apple devices, suggesting that mobile users turned off their adult entertainment to “turn on” Tim Cook. Pornhub Insights also discovered that traffic from Safari browsers similarly dipped to 8.7 percent below norms.

Of course, it was not all bad for the adult entertainment giant. Since 35 percent of its traffic is from iDevices, a 9.5 percent drop means that 25.5 percent continued fapping despite what Sexy Tim had to say. Additionally, traffic rose to about 4.5 percent below average once the iPhone 7 had been shown, and continued to rise throughout the rest of the presentation. As a bonus, once the event was over, Pornhub’s traffic peaked to about 4 percent above the norm on iDevices and nearly 6 percent above average on Safari.

“Excitement over Apple’s shiny new jet black handheld may also explain the increase over normal traffic in the hours immediately following the show,” states Pornhub Insights.

However, according to CNET, “it appears that many people didn’t necessarily watch the Apple keynote instead of visiting PornHub, rather they just opted to wait until the iPhone announcement was over.”

Apparently, Apple’s new iPhone was not as sexy as Pornhub might have thought.

In an “informal survey,” CNET asked its Twitter followers, “Now that the #AppleEvent is over, what are your thoughts on the iPhone 7 and 7 Plus?”

Out of 2,000 respondents, only 29 percent said that they would buy one soon, while an overwhelming 43 percent responded, “I’m totally uninterested.”

CNET readers might not think the iPhone 7 is anything to fap about, but Pornhub has a different opinion.

“Like all Apple fans, team Pornhub is excited whenever new iPhones hit the market. Faster loading, sharper screens and longer battery life can only mean a better Pornhub experience for everyone!”

Oblivious to the entire ordeal, Tim Cook informed the public that pre-orders for the iPhone 7 would begin on September 9, and the device would be available in retail outlets starting on September 16. Experts predicted the pre-order date precisely, but the retail date is exactly one week earlier than they expected.

If all goes well for Apple, Pornhub should see a significant rise in sexy iPhone 7 visits as users adopt the new device. If not, then Apple will have to work very hard to make the iPhone 8 even sexier if they want to seduce users who may have become limp during Cook’s keynote.

Either way both Apple and Pornhub should expect things to return to normal now that all the heavy breathing over the iPhone 7 announcement has passed.

[Photo by Stephen Lam/Getty Images]