Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin Finalize Divorce: What Is ‘Conscious Uncoupling’?


Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have officially finalized their divorce on Thursday, July 14, after reaching a settlement in May. The couple filed for the dissolution of their marriage over two years ago, according to Us Weekly. A Los Angeles public information officer confirmed Paltrow and Martin were married for 12 years.

Chris Martin and Gwneyth Paltrow. [Photo by Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Entertainment Industry Foundation]
Gwyneth, 43, and Chris Martin, 39, were married in 2003 and filed for divorce in December 2015 after separating in 2014. Both parties agreed to forfeit any rights to spousal support. Gwyneth and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin are parents to Apple, 12, and Moses, 10, and have maintained a friendly relationship for the sake of their children.

Us Weekly reports the couple entered into a written agreement which outlined the logistics of child support and property division. According to the Mirror, “It’s like we are still a family, but not a couple,” the Avengers actress told Marie Claire Australia in April. “I think we are better as friends than we were [married]. We are very close and supportive of one another.”

What Is Conscious Uncoupling?

Many will remember in 2014, Gwyneth made a post on her website, Goop, entitled, “Conscious Uncoupling.” In the post, Paltrow and Chris Martin explained they spent an entire year doing serious work in an attempt to fix their relationship. However, they found that it’s better to split than to stay together.

The term was first coined by relationship expert Katherine Woodward Thomas. Thomas offers a five-week program to “release the trauma of a breakup, reclaim your power, and reinvent your life.”

Goop describes “conscious uncoupling” as an act that “brings wholeness to the spirits of both people who choose to recognize each other as their teacher.”

Women Health Magazine notes “conscious uncoupling” is opposite of the blame game. Without pointing fingers, animosity is at a minimum and co-parenting is much easier. “Conscious uncoupling” isn’t reserved solely for divorces and separations but for long-term relationships and domestic partnerships as well. It is also for those who have children with one another.

“We have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate,” Paltrow wrote. “We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been.”

Since then, many posts have been made on Gwyneth’s website Goop in regard to the term “conscious uncoupling.”

“For our purposes, conscious uncoupling is the ability to understand that every irritation and argument within a relationship was a signal to look inside ourselves and identify a negative internal object that needed healing. Because present events always trigger pain from a past event, it’s never the current situation that needs the real fixing. It’s just the echo of an older emotional injury. If we can remain conscious of this during our uncoupling, we will understand it’s how we relate to ourselves internally as we go through an experience that’s the real issue, not what’s actually happening.”

Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., author of The New Monogamy, describes “conscious uncoupling” as a way of consciously going about a divorce or separating without attorneys.

“It is a conscious choice to avoid adversarial attorneys…Choosing instead mediation, where both parties meet with a mediator to work through a parenting plan, a financial agreement and any details that need to be settled before going to court for the final divorce.”

Goop describes “conscious uncoupling” as a way to bring couples back together through separation.

“By choosing to handle your uncoupling in a conscious way, regardless of what’s happening with your spouse, you’ll see that although it looks like everything is coming apart; it’s actually all coming back together.”

[Photos by Jemal Countess/Slaven Vlasic/Stringer/Getty Images]

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