G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, a movie based on a popular series of action figures and children’s cartoons, releases tomorrow (August 7th, 2009) to limited acclaim and great moaning.  Whatever the official reviews, the movie is likely to make alot of money and frustrate critics with its success much like Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen did.

Now, I haven’t seen the movie yet, but will this weekend, so maybe my opinion will change.  But, as one of the previously linked articles mentions, there’s a trend for critics to dismiss, almost out of hand, any action movie that’s based on nerd-favorite material – both Transformers movies stand as perfect examples.  This is not to say that the movie will be the second coming of the original Matrix, but that it’s probably significantly better than many would like to admit.

Admittedly, the movie studio refused an early release to critics, which is typically not a good sign, but they did it for potentially legitimate reasons: all critics panned TF2, and if the movie didn’t have such a strong fanbase, it would have flopped.  And while the G.I. Joe fanbase is potentially huge, it’s untested and therefore better to err on the side of caution – especially if it’s the type of movie critics love to call “fluff”, “nonsense”, and “lacking intelligence”, all of which are probable.

Assuming that G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is better than the recent Streetfighter movie, it will be a happy day for millions of twenty- and thirtysomething males worldwide.  Why?  Because we’re the generation that grew up on “The Real American Hero”, both on TV and during playtime – the cartoon (and its famous PSAs) was a wonderful way to spend a half-hour watching things blow up with an ethical message attached, and the action figures were a perfect answer to the Barbie conundrum.  So for a movie to be released to Generation Y, during a time that’s very bleak for the same population subset, the excitement should be tangible.

Just like TF2, moviegoers will not attend The Rise of Cobra expecting a thoughtful art film, a “chick flick”, or a snarky comedy starring Paul Giamatti – they will willingly pay $10 to see a movie full of explosions and semi-futuristic battles that captures the spirit of the original cartoon and combines with their playful imaginings as children.  And, barring cataclysmic failures that aren’t apparent in the “it looks really awesome and epic” trailer, they will love it.

Even if the millions of people that flock to see the movie don’t love it, Paramount will probably make enough money to consider a sequel as a direct result of Millennial curiosity.  While Marlon Wayans and Dennis Quaid are not actors I would have cast in a manly man’s-man movie about fighting evil, shrouded badguys, the updated and modern battle-ready G.I. Joe will remain forever my hero.

Unless the movie is completely and unabashedly horrible – then it will have ruined my childhood.

Kyle Brady is a contributing columnist for the Inquisitr, an entrepreneur, and has a future in science fiction.  He can be found at his blog, via email, or on Twitter.