Tags : books, Comic-Con, Movies, New Moon, twilight, vampires
Once Upon a Twilight Dream
This past weekend was San Diego Comic-Con, where nerds, fanboys, and devotees of all things magical/fantastic/scifi/comicbook show up in droves to see snippets from upcoming movies, glimpses of their most obsessed-over actors/actresses, and to get “inside information” on upcoming projects – this year was no different. Johnny Depp made a surprise appearance, footage debuted, and the flames of rumors were fanned. Oh and something called New Moon, the latest upcoming movie in the Twilight series, had an event.
The first official trailer for this movie debuted long ago (see below for an embed), but the days prior to Comic-Con saw a release of official photos and some more details on the movie – culminating in a Friday panel where many attendees waited in line for a day. A day. That’s defined as “greater than 24 hours”, where hordes of teen/preteen girls (with their dads) and middle aged women waited in line for a brief interaction, by proximity, with the cast and crew of their obsessions.
Very simply, the fact that these sort of people would brave a highly judgmental and vocal crowd of thousands of nerds says volumes for their sanity, not to mention what they might consider devotion. Comic-Con is a place for geeks to enjoy themselves once a year and indulge in all of their favorite geek activities, which runs the gamut from comic book-based movies to science fiction TV shows, but definitely does not include the world of Twilight. A new (and not-yet-real) panel for the announcement of a new Blade movie? Sure. But a place for a bunch of screaming females to fawn over the upcoming release of slow-motion shirtless males? Not so much. If Blade is an example of nerd-acceptable vampirism, then Twilight is its antithesis.
Based on the trailer, it’s safe to say that New Moon will just be more of the same seen in the previous movie, albeit with a new director and potentially better visuals. But it doesn’t change the fundamentals of the story, which is based mostly on the drama and inner thoughts of a helpless teenage girl who needs lots of manly men to save her, some of which just happen to be “I shine in the sunlight like diamonds and it’s sooooo cute!” vampires. Oh, and the fundamental beliefs of the Mormon Church (LDS).
More disturbing than the material itself, however, is the rabid fanbase. The panel at Comic-Con was reportedly barely-controlled chaos, as the female hordes screamed such unique one-liners as “I love you Rob!”, but, somehow, insights were given into the acting prowess of Robert Pattinson (“Edward”): “[he had to] stand on a green box and look and stay basically expressionless”. How truly talented he is! But the throngs of fans found “camaraderie” as they waited to have the brilliance that was the Twilight panel bestowed upon them, so all was not lost.
Comparisons will inevitably be made to nerd diehards like Star Wars fans, but there are crucial differences, not the least of which is that overnight lines were formed for the movies, not a quick Q&A session. The most important differentiation is that no matter how devoted a Star Wars fan is, they are able to dissect any part of that universe and judge it objectively for its quality – Twilight fans are completely the opposite. While many of even the most diehard Star Wars nerd may recognize that Episode I was far from the peak of the series, anything even remotely related to Twilight is defended to the absolute death. For evidence, look no further than reactions to criticisms that all the books have horrible literary value, that the actors in the first cinematic installment have no talent, or that the whole concept of the series is little more than a vehicle for the delivery of softcore porn and Mormon values – the knee-jerk fan response is fantastically hilarious.
And this past weekend is just further evidence that the borderline-illiterate nonsense is not going to stop any time soon: there are still books left to translate into movies, and Meyer has one (or more) sequels in publishing limbo. Unlike Meyer’s not-at-all-similar counterpart JK Rowling, most authors in the vampire pornfiction industry don’t know when to stop, and her zombie following will no doubt create a bestseller out of every page or frame ever published.
Being part of the anti-Twilight minority is not going to become any easier as the years of the next decade progress, especially as the movie studios find out what a cash crop the series truly is. But comfort can be had in a key fact: while geeks and nerds are known for occasionally doing odd things in pursuit of their fandom, the rabid Twilight hordes will continue to embarrass themselves on a scale unprecedented, most especially in the eye of the media.
Go Team Jasper!
Kyle Brady is a contributing columnist for the Inquisitr, an entrepreneur, and has a future in science fiction. He can be found at his blog, via email, or on Twitter.
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