Posted in: Crime

Kentucky Man Sets Fire To Convenience Store Toilet Seat For Religious Reasons

Religious Toilet Seat Fire

Louisville, KY – In what can only be described as the mindless actions of an intoxicated man, 46-year-old James Crittenden decided to set fire to a toilet seat inside an area convenience store, according to WAVE 3. After employees confronted the would-be arsonist, Crittenden openly admitted he had set the seat aflame for “religious reasons”. Sadly, he did he elaborate further.

By the time authorities arrived, the suspect was already on his way over to a nearby Kroger supermarket. WHAS reports that Crittenden began screaming obscenities when authorities attempted to apprehend him. To make matters worse, he supposedly threatened the arresting officers, which will always make matters much worse.

Not surprisingly, this isn’t the first time James has enjoyed a brush with local authorities. According to the folks at Dreamin’ Demon, Crittenden was arrested in July for allegedly huffing a whopping ten cans of Redi-Whip inside ValuMarket at Mid City Mall. James is a regular customer at this particular business, which has banned him for burglary and disorderly conduct.

What’s interesting about the aforementioned Redi-Whip incident is that Crittenden said he was given the authority to abuse the product by the United States Constitution. If you’re high on Redi-Whip, that probably makes perfect sense. And while he claimed he fully intended to pay for the products he used — the total was around $26 — Crittenden only had seven dollars in his pocket at the time.

As a result of his misguided Redi-Whip adventure, the repeat offender is staring down charges of shoplifting, public intoxication, disorderly conduct and criminal trespassing. WHAS also reports that, for his bathroom-oriented religious display, James Crittenden now faces charges of arson, disorderly conduct, and alcohol intoxication. as well.

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