Michelle Rodriguez admitted after the fatal car crash of Paul Walker, her Fast and Furious co-star, she went “crazy,” but her recent experience with a psychedelic brew not only helped her deal with his death, but brought out feelings of jealousy. During the filming of the controversial documentary, The Reality of Truth, Rodriguez used a brew called Ayahuasca, which is made from the Banisteriopsis caapi vine and various other plants. The brew, also commonly referred to as yagé, is used by the indigenous people of the Amazonian Peru in ceremonies and traditional spiritual medicine.
Back in 2015, Michelle had opened up to Entertainment Weekly about how she had dealt with Paul Walker’s death. Rodriguez’s way of dealing with the loss of Paul, who she felt was “the deepest person she knew,” was admittedly not the healthiest.
The Inquisitr had previously reported on Rodriguez’s behavior after Paul Walker’s death.
“I actually went on a bit of a binge,” a teary eyed Michelle had told EW. “I went crazy a little bit…I went pretty crazy. A lot of the stuff I did last year I would never do had I been in my right mind.”
“I was pushing myself to feel,” Rodriguez continued “I felt like nothing I could do could make me feel alive, so I just kept pushing myself harder and harder. I was traveling and I was having sex. And I was just trying to ignore everything that I was feeling.”
“I could see Paul once every two years and just know there was another human on the planet who’s deep like me, who loves like that,” Michelle added. “When that disappears, you wonder, ‘Wait a minute, what do I hold on to?’ There was nothing to tether me to this existence: ‘how am I f**king here? And, like, why’d you leave without me?'”
According to Michelle, her experience in filming The Reality of Truth dramatically changed her views on death and helped her deal with losing her Fast and Furious co-star.
The Reality of Truth, which E! Online reports as an “international quest to transcend the boundaries of the mind,” focuses on the use of meditation, prayer, and psychedelic plants to “find the truth.” The documentary features Michelle Rodriguez, director Mike Zapolin, and several others as they are guided in their spiritual journey by Indian American author, alternative medicine advocate, and new age guru, Deepak Chopra.
— The Reality of Truth (@TROTfilm) February 22, 2016
“The truth,” that Rodriguez discovered during her spiritual journey turned her grief over Paul Walker’s death into, instead, a feeling of jealousy.
“I have to say, you know, when I lost Paul, I went through about a year of just being an animal,” Michelle admitted in a clip of The Reality of Truth documentary.
“Like, what could I do, physically, to just get my mind off of existentialism?” Michelle continued. “Get my mind off of how transient life is and how we come here and can just disappear at any moment. How could I get my mind off that?”
“I did everything I could possibly do to hide from myself and I’ll tell you that my Ayahuasca trip made me sad that he left me here,” Rodriguez explained.
“It wasn’t a sadness that he’s gone, it’s more like a jealousy that he’s there first,” Michelle realized during the filming of The Reality of Truth.
The Reality of Truth describes their documentary on their official website: “This highly controversial documentary explores the relationship between spirituality, religion, and psychedelics….The film explores the many myths about reality. It includes first of its kind interviews with top spiritual gurus, celebrities, [including Michelle Rodriguez], and people of all faiths, about this intriguing connection and their personal experiences with spirituality and transcendence.” Want to explore The Reality of Truth with Michelle Rodriguez? Check out the official trailer right here.
[Photo AP Images/by Arthur Mola/Invision]