What The Hills Taught Me (Season 4, Episode 3): Stephanie Looks Odd

Were you just totally, 100% happy with the fact that Lo didn’t make a surprise appearance in last night’s version of The Hills? At first I was like “What’s with The Hills?” and then I realized: my New Spencer was missing! And, come to think of it, so was Audrina. That was my favorite drama of the season so far, too.

Instead we were treated to terrible Spencer Pratt. Poor de-sistered Stephanie: she just wants to be friends with her own brother (even if that’s probably best left alone) and she wasn’t looking so good, either. Her face seems super-round, only emphasizing her deer-in-headlights expression, and I want to like her because she seems real (for The Hills, mind you). Unlike Whitney’s incredible good luck, great wardrobe, evil-b*tch boss taming, and magic guy-getting skills; what the F? Naked male models, surprise dates… lucky doesn’t begin to describe it.

At least my predictions came true: Lauren really is a terrible dater. I knew it.