Moms Who Smoke Pot Decry Double Standard For Wine Drinkers
Casual marijuana use is becoming more and more socially acceptable as the push for legalizing the much-loved smokable moves from state to state, and one of the last taboo groups of closet tokers — parents of small children — have been speaking up (albeit anonymously) to voice their frustration at a double standard when it comes to alcohol versus pot consumption among those with children.
As MSNBC notes, a controversial essay on the female-centric site Jezebel kicked off the most recent round of debate about pot-smoking moms and whether the use of marijuana is any more detrimental to home and family life than its notoriously destructive counterpart, alcohol.
But marijuana legalization has been spreading across state legislatures, spurred on by liberal state-level laws in states like California, and many closeted users are speaking out cautiously to advocate for responsible marijuana users — many of whom happen to be parents.
45-year-old mom Margaret, who declined to provide other identifying details to the site, described how marijuana’s calming effects allow her to be patient at home and complete rote housework tasks. She explains:
“It can make folding a pile of laundry fun… If I didn’t smoke, that’d be three piles later in the week.”
Margaret adds:
“Being judged for doing something nontoxic and totally organic, enjoying a god-given plant, by moms who suck back two bottles of Chardonnay like sports drinks feels like s—… Any hypocrisy is hard to swallow. A drunk mother is pathetic and I often leave parties when I experience other mothers tying one on.”
Diane Fornbacher of NORML, a marijuana legalization advocacy group, concurs with Margaret and brings up the age-old point that marijuana’s effects are far less harmful (if at all harmful) when compared to the effects of legal drugs like alcohol and tobacco:
“No matter what you use, you shouldn’t be judged if it works for you, you’re productive, and you do no harm… Marijuana parents aren’t perfect, but they’re far less imperfect than parents who use alcohol irresponsibly. Cannabis can influence people to be nicer to one another. You rarely find a story that says two stoners beat each other up outside of a bar.”
It seems in no small way that the “marijuana moms” debate is rooted in our puritanical view of what mothers should and should not do when they become parents, something we see played out in breastfeeding debates or formula criticism or any other of the many ways it is totally acceptable to boss around a grown woman in a somewhat otherwise advanced society.
However it shakes out, it’s probably a long way until stressed out moms can smoke one up together at the playground — do you think parents are better off smoking pot than having a glass of wine to calm down?
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Jul 17, 2012
as a former pot smoler you are high when on pot and it is a lie that you do ok raising a family while addicted to pot.
Jul 17, 2012
I love that this question is even being asked. The barriers against marijuana use are contrived, absurd, and obsolete. LEGALIZE HEMP – DECRIMINALIZE CANNABIS. TODAY.
Jul 17, 2012
People need to be sober to take care of children
Jul 17, 2012
Used with safe, responsible and appropriate timing, I think it's much better than drinking.
Jul 17, 2012
So a parent who is a pot smoker can't raise a family ok
Jul 17, 2012
but a parent who is a drinker can? That is a lie
Jul 17, 2012
I am sorry mam no one ever educated you on this natural gift god gave us. It is not addictive. But as a former pot smoker you know that. Don't you.
Jul 17, 2012
I know people that are pot smokers and I know parents who drink and the fact of the matter is the pit smokers are far better parents
Jul 17, 2012
alcoholic parents are more likley to be abusive smokers tend to relax more
Jul 17, 2012
Nobody has brought up the fact that many women are using prescribed drugs to cope with the stresses of parenting.I think a little pot at night after the kids are in bed is a safer way to boost seratonin levels that prozac…only my opinion of course.
Jul 17, 2012
Tell that to parents who drink – that's about 90 percent of drinkers, by the way………….
Jul 17, 2012
People need to be kind and patient, Loving and understanding. As a parent myself I can tell you I spend more time playing with my kids and helping with homework and spending quality time focused on my kids when I smoke than when I don't. When I don't I spend more time cleaning the house and paying the bills and making a shopping list and shushing the kids away from me to get the stupid stuff done, Life gets in the way. a couple of hits and all I want to do is be with my kids for a change life can wait
Jul 17, 2012
Not that I ever do it!!!
Jul 17, 2012
So sick of the hypocrisy! I call for alcohol testing on all welfare recipients! Let's make sure they aren't selling their food stamps for 6 packs of Pabst!
Jul 17, 2012
I have seen stoned parents be stupid. Alcohol has been legal for a long time and it is a dangerous drug, not debating that at all. I laugh when I hear that pot is fine for a parent to do when watching kids, right it is a mood altering substance. Natural or not. People can use it to cover up things like with any other mood altering substance. I see it used in Portland a lot, where the "parent" would rather get high then deal with connecting with the chid. If they want to do it in their own time I don't judge and yes I am sure comparing a drunk to someone stoned on weed is far safer (for the stoned person) but that's not what we are debating. it is weather or not a parent that is high on pot is competent. I don't think so. Do it after they go to sleep if you have too. Don't get drunk until the kids are asleep too, it goes without saying. I know there is a line between a little and a lot. whatever the thing is someone is "taking" don't do it in excess around kids I say or better yet at all. Sorry- but this fantasy that this god given green thing is all natural and safe is BS. It can pull someone away from responsibilities like too much to drink can or taking too much medication. I am all for it being legalized. I agree it is a less aggressive substance then alcohol. BUT- that doe snot mean it gets a green light to do it around raising kids! duh. come on.
Jul 17, 2012
The bottom line is that most things when used responsibly are not harmful and are the choice of the individual. A glass of wine for a parent does not make them an irresponsible alcoholic incapable of caring for their children. The same is true of pot. Responsible use does not create a bad parent. The biggest problem with using pot as a parent, even reasonable, safe and responsible use, is if it is illegal in the area in which you live. If so is it worth risking fines which may place a undue burden on your family? Or worse jail time in which you will be taken from your family altogether? The same is to be said of alcohol. Irresponsible use of any product will cause harm. Neither product should be labeled "bad" on its own.
Jul 17, 2012
Arguing on how to get retarded.
Jul 17, 2012
When you smoke pot, you are high. When you are high, you neglect. If you are a heavy drinker, you are drunk. When you are drunk, you neglect. I do drink. I drink 1 glass of wine, one beer OR one mixed drink. That happens only once a week or once every other week. There is a big difference between pot and alcohol. There are abusers of both.
Jul 17, 2012
I know parents that smoke because they would rather smoke pot than take the prescription meds a doc gave them because the prescription drugs make them unable to do everyday things but when they smoke they don't feel like they are disconnected from themselves unlike the prescriptions
Jul 17, 2012
When I smoked, I was more relaxed but I can't imagine smoking while taking care of my 6 month old. Over drinking, yes parents should smoke. I also think it depends on maturity too though.
Jul 17, 2012
I gave up toking to gestate my kids, but not to raise them. I never drank while my kids were little, and I didn't smoke in front of them until they'd moved out of the house. Now that they're grown, I've become much more politically active about cannabis use, and I say legalize it. This hypocrisy is ridiculous.
Jul 17, 2012
First you have to figure out you got Tarted in the first places. Then just do it again and you will be RE-TARTED
Jul 17, 2012
Both vices have mood altering effects, this much is absolutely true. However, regardless of your mood alteration, exposing a child to either of these drugs is irresponsible. Whether you become nicer or meaner while intoxicated, your child will come to view this need to drink or smoke as necessary to function as an adult, and as they age they will likely follow in your footsteps and start the same habits. As far as being intoxicated while parenting, both drugs affect your reasoning, your concentration, and how much you care about certain things. Children need consistency, and when a child sees two different sides of you, it can be distressing and may cause them to lose respect for you.
When an intoxicated parent is asked for help with a homework assignment, under the influence of either drug a parent may act in a distracted manner, have trouble processing information, may change the subject or even brush the child aside. Both drugs put you in a haze so that you are not able to fully be present when parenting your child. Depending on the person, alcohol can make drinker overly emotional, embarrassingly affectionate, short-tempered and sometimes even violent. Marijuana can make a person apathetic, irresponsible, paranoid, and completely unable to concentrate. Being on any drug in the presence of an impressionable child is irresponsible, but marijuana does seem to be the lesser of the two evils.
Jul 17, 2012
Ultimately, it’s all about the ability of the individual to take responsibility for his own actions.
Jul 17, 2012
I don't think it cool to be additvie to. Anything but… if you stress from work and need to relaxe… hit an dubbie
Jul 17, 2012
I would have to say, you function much better smoking pot, than drinking alcohol! And depending on your mood before drinking, you could be stupid or angry..not with pot! Pot relaxes you and "I can do"… many more functional things I need to do, when smoking than on alcohol. In fact I rarely drink, I just don't like how I feel, and I don't want to do anything but keep drinking. Pot is harmless, compared to the many things LEGAL alcohol does to you and possibly those you are in contact with..more deaths, from drunk driving, more fights while drunk. I am a musician and have seen many bar fights, becoz people cant control themselves on alcohol…too uninhibiting! But on smoke, you are having fun, laughing and doing things that are fun! YOU ARE STILL IN CONTROL! I am sure Id do much more with kids, after smoking, than drinking. IDK, my kids are all grown now and only one smokes anything! But I was much more fun back when I did smoke and had kids..and we did things together. Smoking and drinking, not a good mix…then I'd say NO! and…RX drugs for pain or anxiety, or depression…oh my..what a mess these are to your life! Liver damage, fits of rage, abusive actions, overdose and death but they are given out daily..LEGALLY! The priorities/values are mixed up! This is a natural GOD GIVEN plant that has many beneficial uses and healing power! NOT JUST FOR RECREATION…BUT CAN HELP in so many ways health wise, too! PROVEN, for in GLAUCOMA, CANCER PATIENTS, (HELPS THEM EAT), ANY PAIN PROBLEMS, CFS, FMS, BACK PAIN..AND I'm sure there's many more I haven't heard of, and you probably haven't read about…so if you don't know what it can do to be beneficial…why not read up and see before judging it as EVIL? There are many more things a lot more evil than pot! Alcohol makes those abusive things really worse and come out of a person! hmmm…just saying!
Jul 17, 2012
^^^Well said Brian!
Jul 17, 2012
Pot is so much better for you than alcohol and as far as addiction is concerned, it is only mentally addictive, not physically which makes it even better. Alcohol is physically addictive, yet it is legal and pot is not. I have been a pot smoker for 35+ years and find it amazing to go to the dispensaries these days only to see half of the clients are older like me. Obviously we have all been in the closet for years. And, our children were told we were drug addicts. . . . So sad because then, they are forced to decipher right from wrong in a new light. Not that I would advocate letting your kids know, but sometimes it just comes out with a definite down side for our children. Really, it needs to be legalized and properly taxed so that everyone can reap the benefits in one way or another.
Jul 17, 2012
@Brian. . . you need to learn to spell. . . it's retarDed and apparently you don't need any help in that direction.
Jul 17, 2012
Everyone is affected differently, yes, but to your point Brian it also gives parents an opportunity to slow down and put life on hold for more important things–even if just for a little while.
Jul 17, 2012
Elizabeth, we are so happy that you are reaping the benefits of safe access and supporting this cause. It's so important that we have support from people like you who understand that marijuana is a great alternative to substances like alcohol and opioids. Educating children early on about the benefits of this plant is paramount to continued success in the future and necessary for further advancements in the field.
Jul 17, 2012
Well said Janet. Everyone must be held responsible for their individual responses to the substances that they use. It's just amazing how widely accepted alcohol is when you consider the affects that it has on people–it can be so polarizing and detrimental to ones health and relationships. You rarely hear a person reminiscing about the good times they've had growing up with an alcoholic parent.
Jul 18, 2012
I just got through breast cancer, hormone therapy, double mastectomy, bowel infection – c-dif twice, two hospital stays, and radiation therapy and if I did not have access to cannabis I would have had to have a feeding tube and would have been very much worse off in several ways. Headaches, body aches, lethargy (surprisingly, pot made me motivated to move more), sleeping, nausea in a big way, all were helped immensely by using cannabis. My doctors at Kaiser could not prescribe natural pot, but they encouraged me to use it; they could only give me Marinol (pill form of cannabis). It should be legal if alcohol is legal and might go a long way in balancing the state of California budget and bringing all that money back into legal avenues; there is something like $6 BILLION in underground pot sales in California alone. Surely this indicates a nice tax revenue prospect. Silly politician use it but won't make it legal because of the liquor industry and their lobbying money. A real shame.
Jul 18, 2012
What a great idea! What do you think the odds are that this would get passed?
Jul 18, 2012
Brian Barnum – While it is true that cannabis is not inherently addictive, people can become addicted to anything. Good for her for quitting her addictive substance. I agree that parents of young children should not drink or smoke to an altered state; their priorities should be their little babies and toddlers. Good sense should prevail. Responsibility for ones actions is crucial.
Jul 18, 2012
I love how a bunch of folks will sit around drinking alcohol and talking about how bad these pot smokers are, until one of them looks at another ones spouse. Then the fight is on.
Jul 23, 2012
I haven't read the article but for me,I get too lazy to do anything at all. Drinking I'm relaxed enough to have fun with my kids instead of focusing on chores and real life shit. Sober I'm the bitchiest bitch in the world but the most but more productive. I wanna be super mom, super wife, super women but I'll never win
Jul 23, 2012
*I mean I get lazy when I smoke
Jul 25, 2012
what is the pit smokers again….lol….I hope you have a better day hun