In an interview with BBC news to discuss The Force Awakens, Harrison Ford was asked: if Donald Trump was a Star Wars character, which one would he be.
It’s an interesting question. One might be tempted to say Darth Vader, but Darth is far too cool, grandiose, and complicated a character for a slightly cartoonish figure like Trump to carry off with aplomb.
So what answer did Ford, who plays intergalactic space smuggler Hans Solo in the Force Awakens, give? Why, Jar Jar Binks, of course.
In the Star Wars universe, one character is despised by fans more than any others – and that creature is the long-loathed and uniquely annoying Jar Jar Binks.
When Jar Jar first tainted the silver screen during Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, the grotesque simpleton nearly single-handedly destroyed the franchise and became not just the most despised character in Star Wars, but perhaps the most vile and irritating character ever to get a foothold in cinematic history.
Jar Jar looked like how you’d imagine Frankenstein’s monster would if he’d been created not by the good doctor, but a peculiar breed of sunlight-shunning and basement-dwelling script writers who had just been given a high grade batch of psychedelics and carte blanche to create a Star Wars character that kids, who possess all the emotional intelligence and savvy of a three-hour-old blade of grass, could really identify with.
Jar Jar doesn’t look good, and he doesn’t look bad; he just looks annoying with a capital “A.” And that’s before you even get to Binks’ hugely irritating speech impediment.
If manure could talk, it would sound like Jar Jar. This is one Star Wars character whom even E.T. would shun for looking and behaving like a nauseating clown.
Jar Jar Binks may have eyes like saucers, but they’re not cute or endearing. These saucers of Jar Jar’s may as well be overflowing with sour milk or pooling with puddles of putridness, such is their deeply calamitous and toxic effect on your average Star Wars fan.
Also, can anything in the universe which has eyes protruding from floppy stalks be a force for good?
Additionally, when this infernal creature attempts to be endearing or humorous, it provokes nothing but a hellish and overwhelming surge of violence in the most gentle of souls. That is why the polluting influence of Jar Jar’s unique “charisma” and geeky mannerisms is best avoided and shunned like a virile and persistent parasite.
Lest we forget, exactly what kind of witless fool is called Jar Jar Binks in the first instance? The very name conjors up a seething of the senses, a raging of the blood, and a surge of adrenaline. In short, Jar Jar Binks sounds like some sort of savage and terrible tropical disease that penicillin got the better off way back when.
As is only right in a just and noble universe, the name Jar Jar Binks is still greeted with a fierce scowl, a hardening of the arteries, and a reddening of the cheeks.
So it was with a sly smile and twinkle in his eyes that Ford compared Trump to Binks, and when asked why Jar Jar is not in the Force Awakens, the cheeky space cowboy replied, “Because he wasn’t elected … to do so.”
(Photo by Ralph Freso/Getty Images)