With the abundance of crazy news stories that circulate online and via social media that are actually true, despite seeming unbelievable, and the equal abundance of fake, satirical news stories a la The Onion, it is often difficult to know whether what is reported is actually true or not, as with the latest headline to go viral, “Cookie Dough Can Explodes In Woman’s Vagina During Shoplifting Incident.”
While the horrible circumstances of this story and its likely terrible outcome are almost too much to fathom, apparently the story’s elements involving shoplifting and a can of cookie dough exploding in a woman’s vagina, along with an accompanying picture of Walmart, are plausible enough, not only for people to go ahead and read the story themselves, but to then pass it on via email and social media.
The “Cookie Dough Can Explodes In Woman’s Vagina During Shoplifting Incident” story was published on the website Now 8 News earlier this week on December 14, and has been being reposted in places like Facebook ever since.
The story involves a woman allegedly named Shatuanee Greene who was inside a Walmart when she purportedly put a can of cookie dough in her vagina as a means of smuggling it out of the store.
“An incident coming out of Greenville, North Carolina, is just one example of what some people will do around the holidays when they are short on cash,” the story begins. “A 34-year-old mother of 3 is now under arrest after a shoplifting incident turned tragic.”
With the stage set, the “Cookie Dough Can Explodes In Woman’s Vagina During Shoplifting Incident” story does not shy away from detail, going on to “report” that the cookie dough shoplifting perp, Ms. Greene, had three kids with her that were 5, 7, and 8 as she grabbed the can of “pre-made Christmas cookie dough” before heading off to Walmart’s toy section.
Employing the children as co-conspirators in the cookie dough shoplifting caper, the story says security cameras show her children gathering around her as she lifts up her skirt and the can of cookie dough inexplicably “disappears.”
Walmart security is quickly on the scene, however, apparently having witnessed Ms. Greene hide the can of cookie dough in her vagina, and Walmart security guard, one Mr. Timothy Reiner, tells Greene to “hand over the cookie dough.”
But Ms. Greene doesn’t want to listen and makes a run for it with the can of cookie dough still reportedly hidden away in her vagina. Security guard Reiner takes his job seriously in the story, however, tackling Greene to the ground, at which point the can of cookie dough allegedly exploded in Greene’s vagina.
“That’s when she turned around to run and I grabbed her by the arm. She put up a good fight, and that’s when I tackled her to the ground. Then I heard a loud pop and the lady started screaming. Gooey cookie dough was running down her leg … it was so damn gross.”
“Eyewitnesses” are then brought into the story with an “EMT” explaining to Now 8 News how the “Pillsbury cookie dough can exploded in Greene’s vagina during the fall causing her extreme pain.”
Greene was then supposedly treated at the scene for her exploding can of cookie dough injuries before insult is added to injury with the Greenville police arresting Greene and carting her off to jail.
Some final details added to boost the probability of the “Cookie Dough Can Explodes In Woman’s Vagina During Shoplifting Incident” story include: “candy sprinkles and a number 6 birthday candle” were also found hidden away in Greene’s private area; Greene’s vagina wasn’t seriously injured by the exploding can of cookie dough; her bail was set at $2,000; and the kids were handed off to “family members.”
Before posting such stories on Facebook or other social media, a quick Google search can save some embarrassment, the “Cookie Dough Can Explodes In Woman’s Vagina During Shoplifting Incident” Now 8 News story quickly showing up on Snopes.com and being declared FALSE.
According to Snopes, the story is based on an urban legend wherein a woman believes she has been shot, while out shopping, after a can of biscuits explodes in her hot car.
How this urban legend evolved into a female shoplifter suffering a can of cookie dough exploding in her vagina isn’t made clear, but Snopes does point out that the mug shot of the woman featured in the story has been circulating on the internet since as early as April, 2010, and that Now 8 News runs other fake news stories such as Walmart bananas being infested by deadly parasitic worms, and one where a lady gets arrested “after engaging in a sex act with a breakfast sausage.”
So if you see a story such as “Cookie Dough Can Explodes In Woman’s Vagina During Shoplifting Incident,” it might pay to check its veracity before passing it on.
[Images via Snopes]