Posted in: Celebrity News

Madonna ‘Sterilization Team’ Makes Sure You Don’t Get Your Hands On Her DNA

Madonna will not tolerate Material Girl clones

Madonna is so in-demand that people are desperate get their hands on the singer’s very DNA. At least that’s what she thinks (read: fears) so she’s started traveling around with a sterilization team to clean up Madonna-flakes after performances on her newest world tour.

Paranoid Madonna, 53, has a scrub-team to make sure she leaves no trace of herself behind after she leaves shows. These guys are kind of like CSI guys: “cleaners” that go through Madonna’s room looking for skin flakes, stray hairs, random errant drops of saliva, dried sweat, whatever you can imagine. Additionally, only Madonna herself and her entourage are allowed to be backstage before and during performances, reports Mirror.

Madonna’s MDNA tour arrives in Coimbra City, Portugal, tomorrow. Concert promoter Álvaro Ramos is babysitting the Portuguese stint, and is also notable here for being that guy that says what everyone is thinking, albeit with more moderation than your average Internet commenter. “We have to take extreme care, like I have never seen for any other artist,” he said. “We cannot even look at the dressing room, after it is ready, or even open the door. We can only enter after her sterilisation team has left the room. There will not be any of Madonna’s DNA, any hair, or anything,” adding that her team, “will clean up ­everything. In the end it is all to protect her and make her feel comfortable.”

“I do understand it, but it is taken to extremes,” Ramos concluded.

Ramos also noted that a team comes in with Madonna to construct a dressing room for her from scratch, reports PopCrush. “Her team will build everything for her, including fake ceilings and fake walls, so they can ensure that no one has hidden a camera somewhere,” said Ramos. Apparently this measure guards against hidden cameras, and is also the only pragmatic and reasonable idea presented in this article thus far.

But it all begs the question, and for this, I need your help. What is Madonna afraid of? Are these extreme security measures justified, or is she being a little too paranoid?

Here’s Madonna’s “Girl Gone Wild” video while you think it over!

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Comments

13 Responses to “Madonna ‘Sterilization Team’ Makes Sure You Don’t Get Your Hands On Her DNA”

  1. Bruce Alex Waite

    Get the guys in the white suit's , find a rubber room, feed twice daily, bowl of water in her room no camera's ect. No makeup no hair stylist within 1000.00 miles & No cell phoe's then see how long she last's. She is NUT'S Lenett.

  2. Heather Helms Kalka

    Maybe she knows more than this article implies. Michael Jackson and his family have said for many years that "They" were trying to kill him. Seems they succeeded and she doesn't want to be next. Conspiracy theories are usually on the money and only seem far fetched to the little sheep following the herd. Watch Thrive the Movie if you really want to know who "they" are….

  3. Salli Sharpin

    Madonna has officially jumped the shark tank. Please – exposing herself to try to get noticed? She needs to retire. I loved her 20 years ago, but she is so over. Move out of the way, Madonna — Lady Gaga has shown a lot more class than you've shown you lack.

  4. Parmer Lane

    Could she be HIV positive and doesn't want the secret to get out.

  5. Makeba Ellis

    If these people are so afraid of people trying to harm them, why don't they take all the hundreds of millions that they have at their disposal and leave the business that is supposedly threatening their lives for good? Why? Because they would rather have the money. If it's true, she just needs to deal with it. Any regular person who was facing a problem like this would move heaven and hell to make sure they were safe, even if that meant changing identities and going into seclusion for their families sakes. You wanted the attention. You got it.

  6. Anonymous

    Someone could kill her and there would be no trace of who did it!