Etsy Vendor Is Now Offering ‘Glitter Pills’ That Give You Sparkly Poop — The Perfect Holiday Gift!

Need a perfect gift for that hard-to-buy-for loved one? Look no further than Etsy: the artists’ marketplace offers glitter pills that will give you sparkly poop!

The trend of selling glitter poop pills first started gaining traction this time last year, thanks to a hard-hitting exposé by The Mirror writer Lucy Sambrook. As Sambrook points out, the glitter poop pills aren’t specifically marketed as being intended for swallowing, but everyone knows that’s what they’re for.

“This item is not meant for consumption. This item is only intended for decorative purposes and are not edible, this store is not responsible for any misuse of product.

Q. Will these make my poop glittery?
A. We have no idea, they are for decorative purposes only.

Q. Am I supposed to eat Glitterpills?
A. No, absolutely not, the risk is entirely on you, the customer.”

Looks like legal boilerplate: why offer something in capsule form and then insist you’re not supposed to swallow it?

Another glitter poop pill vendor is a little more direct: the name of his (or her) product is S**t Glitter (in unredacted form), and in the feature photo on the pills’ page, the words “S**T GLITTER” appear. But once again, the vendor insists that the pills are not meant to be consumed.

“Sh*t Glitter pills consist of 100% vegan, edible capsules of Size 0 and nontoxic glitter. This article is unfit for consumption. Not for children.”

Not for children? Children are likely to get a kick out of them!

(It is not recommend to give your children novelty items you bought off the internet — particularly things intended to make their poop glitter.)

Fortunately for Christmas shoppers looking for unique gifts, Etsy poop glitter pills come in a variety of colors and varieties. The first two vendors in this article sell multiple colors, and glitter intended to resemble the color of beer, respectively. Another vendor has a rather clever take on the glitter poop pills trend: glow-in-the-dark glitter!

Another vendor offers pills that seem to resemble baby poop (“leave a trail of glitter wherever you go!”).

Etsy was launched in 2005 as a way for vendors to sell handmade and vintage items. It has since become hugely popular, offering everything from fine art made by talented artists to inexpensive knickknacks you’re likely to see at your church’s craft fair.

Since its launch, Etsy has developed a reputation as being a marketplace for the bizarre — and as you’re about to read, there have been far weirder things for sale on Etsy than glitter poop pills. An April, 2015, Business Insider report turned up some Etsy offerings that make glitter poop pills seem tame in comparison, including a cloth menstrual pad in a bottle (intended as a keepsake?) and a purse made from a recycled cat food bag. And in 2013, Business News Daily found Etsy shops offering everything from potting jars made with doll heads to, well, whatever this is.

If you’re into glitter but aren’t ready to take the plunge (heh) and glitter-up your poop, there are other fun — and almost equally-weird — things you can do with glitter this holiday season. As the Metro notes, the latest holiday trend involving glitter is for bearded men to jazz up their beards with glitter — yes, this is a thing now.

This holiday season, the sparkliest male beauty trend is the ‘glitter beard.’ https://t.co/MMtKJRuQal pic.twitter.com/2IT83C7cF4

— someecards (@someecards) November 23, 2015

If you’re interested in buying some glitter poop pills, cost shouldn’t be a factor: a pack of ten will cost you £4.41 (about $6.65 at current exchange rates).

[Image via Etsy]