Perfect Portrait Of Kate Middleton And Princess Charlotte Slammed As ‘Sickly Sweet Lies’
The perfect portrait of Kate Middleton and Princess Charlotte has been slammed as a “sickly sweet lie, presented on a platter to the world by a three-star chef of sickly sweet pictorial cuisine,” by a journalist writing in the Guardian.
The slightly sycophantic British press has been falling over itself in gushing praise of celebrated photographer Mario Testino’s christening portrait of Princess Charlotte, also featuring Kate Middleton, Prince William, and Prince George. But there is a lone voice of dissent in the royalist wilderness, and its name is Jonathan Jones.
It’s not certain if Jonesy is a Republican or if he just hates Testino’s work, but he certainly pulls no punches when it comes to exposing the reality behind Kate Middleton’s painted smile.
“I am not saying the huge cheesy grins on the faces of Kate and William in his christening portrait of the royal nuclear family are fake. After all, they have plenty to smile about – the free houses, the free money, the free adulation, the fact there’s no chance of their kids ever having to worry about student loans, tax credits or the minimum wage.”
Jones the firebrand then goes on to cite Testino as a social climbing, money hungry type, who would turn reality into a “cynical charade” just to turn a buck.
Yet Jones saves the deadliest venom for Kate and Wills whose “teeth shine like diamond walls of privilege.”
“Their faces lit up by hysterical joy, their hair wispy in the sun. Their eyes betraying no signs of thought whatsoever.”
He also writes that Princess Charlotte and Prince George are so overexposed and celebrated they are in danger of becoming “fashion accessories, hired for the day.”
“Children are not jewels. They are forces of nature. Where’s the reality of childhood in these plastic fantastic visual lies executed by a master of fake truth?”
On a softer note, Jones then sounds like a true blue royalist when he laments that Kate Middleton, Prince William, Prince George, and Princess Charlotte deserve better than a “personality robber” such as Testino.
“They deserve better, and so do we. Testino is a bland and banal photographer whose images lack any shred of emotional depth.”
Yet with a certain world-weariness, Jones then sighs that the “Cambridges have become too valuable to royal publicity to be allowed to be real.”
“They are turning into living lies – the impossibly perfect people with their impossibly perfect children. Please, let them be human.”
What do you think commoners! Should Kate Middleton and the rest of the royal gang be allowed to be human?
[Photo By Ian Walton/Getty Images]
