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Pat Robertson Proves Global Warming is a Hoax: No SUVs On Mars!

Pat Robertson says an awkward thing... again.

If you’re worried about climate change or global warming, don’t be. Turns out, it’s all a big hoax. And IQ doesn’t need to quote compelling scientific arguments to the contrary to prove it. All we need is Pat Robertson, who has recently steered his career from Christian televangelism to saying awkward things that make people uncomfortable. According to Robertson, man-made climate change isn’t something to fuss over because… there are no SUVs on Mars.

Pat Robertson provided what he calls “proof” that there is no such thing as global warming due to the fact that there are no sport utility vehicles or oil refineries on the planet Mars. Explaining why he is “not a disciple of global warming” in a segment about European climate change activists on Tuesday, he said, “This is weird,” continuing, “You wonder is there a desire to punish themselves? Is it some kind of innate guilt that is eating at the Europeans? They just seem to be intent on destroying themselves.”

Co-host Terry Meeuwsen then pointed out, “There’s a fairly large faction of people here in the United States also who follow that whole creed.” Robertson agreed, following with, “Is it guilt? Do we think that we have sinned and therefore we have destroyed our planet and therefore we’re going to get it in the neck?” Robertson then went on to reassure us with truth. “Just keep in mind that Mars, and say, ‘How many SUVs, how many oil refineries are there on Mars?’ And yet, it’s the relationship to the sun that is effecting the climate on Mars,” he concluded.

There have been claims by those not-in-favor of man-made global warming arguments that recent warming trends on Mars prove that man has no stake in the whimsy of Earth’s climate. Penn State meteorologist Michael Mann calls that scapegoating (though suspiciously not answering the charge made against the argument!) “The small measured changes in solar output and variations from one decade to the next are only on the order of a fraction of a percent, and if you do the calculations not even large enough to really provide a detectable signal in the surface temperature record,” Mann explained.

“Solar activity continues to be one of the last bastions of contrarians,” he added. “People who don’t accept the existence of anthropogenic climate change still try to point to solar activity.”

IQ does feel the need to clarify that Robertson’s position on global warming is technically correct. There are in fact no SUVs or oil refineries on the planet Mars.

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10 Responses to “Pat Robertson Proves Global Warming is a Hoax: No SUVs On Mars!”

  1. Ryan Carranza

    Yeah, Pat Robertson… The modern day Einstein and all knowledgeable. Don't mind the sarcasm.

  2. Jessica Evans

    you can say that again. you're not the only one who thinks that.

  3. Ronnie Wofford

    I don't believe in global warming, but it's a good way to move economies forward.

  4. Bob Armstrong

    The generally agreed increase in our mean temperature since before the industrial revolution is from about 288 kelvin to 288.8 , about 0.28%. In that time CO2 has risen from about 3 molecules per 10,000 of air to 4 , a rise of a third. Clearly CO2 has a very small effect on our spectrum and therefore temperature.

    By the most basic physics , our temperature is directly proportional to the temperature of the sun and inversely proportional to our distance from it. The entire change of about 0.3% in our temperature can be explained by a change of about 16 degrees in the sun's approximately 5800k. The correlation between our temperature ant that of the sun is not optional and must be subtracted from any variations in our temperature before any other causes can be considered.

  5. Bob Armstrong

    Using massive resources to cover landscapes with structures which produce insignificant useful energy is no better that digging holes and filling them back up . Human welfare depends on useful product per capita , not man hours expended nor resources consumed .

  6. Chris Dunford

    Robertson's position might have some logic to it if anyone in the world had ever said that human-emitted CO2 is the only thing that ever causes climate to change. But no one did, so…

  7. Peter Mizla

    Global warming has happened all throughout earths long geologic history from C02 entering the atmosphere over long periods of time through natural forces- that Mr Robertson only thinks this can happen via 'SUV's' shows his limited knowledge of the issue.